25 Tweets That Just Hit Right

Feeling bored? Craving comedy? Need a spicy and scathing take to reinvigorate your sad brain? This gallery of  tweets may be exactly what you're looking for. They're not going to win any prizes in the journalism department, but they may fill the unhappy and bored void in your heart temporarily. And that counts for something. 

1.

Text - poltergregst @WeedlordKrillin Parents in Parents in 2020 B.C. 2020 A.D. These kids and their damn tablets

2.

Text - hype @TheHyyyуре psychologist: how does that make you feel reverse psychologist: leef uoy ekam taht seod woh 3:27 PM · 2020-10-09 · Twitter for Android 1,650 Retweets 52 Quote Tweets 11K Likes

3.

Text - Ron Iver @ronnui_ Thaven't seen Lindsay Lohan's twin since Parent Trap. Hope she's doing ok. 8:52 PM · 2020-10-09 · Twitter for Android 537 Retweets 6 Quote Tweets 6,300 Likes

4.

Text - Dropped Mike @rebrafsim If you carve a pumpkin in September it's called premature ejackolantern I won't be taking questions 2:11 PM · 2019-10-02 · Twitter for iPhone 386 Retweets 6 Quote Tweets 1,433 Likes

5.

Text - Krampus-topher Ashman @CAshmanActor english teacher: describe a tree in as few words as possible. JRR Tolkien: no 8:29 AM · 2020-07-06 · Twitter for iPhone 14.4K Retweets 447 Quote Tweets 114K Likes

6.

Text - Most Famous Fly @MikePenceFly Everyone jealous because I got the best seat for the debate tonight. 11:21 PM · 2020-10-07 · Twitter for iPhone 42.7K Retweets 4,825 Quote Tweets 33OK Likes

7.

Text - plague rat @catstronomical sometimes the internet is terrible but then I remember l'm allowed to look up anything I want whenever I want. if I want to see a chart of pre-historic alligators I can do that. If I want to know how big the biggest one was, can find out (it's 40 feet) 12:37 AM · 2020-09-27 · Twitter for iPhone 14 Retweets 1 Quote Tweet 143 Likes

8.

Porcupine - Allen K. @Allenk_81 Fired and charged. A porcupine. BallerAlert @balleralert 15h Two Officers Fired And Charged With Animal Cruelty After Beating Porcupines To Death dlvr.it/RjJ9Jz 10:22 PM · 2020-10-09 · Twitter for Android 26.6K Retweets 469 Quote Tweets 66K Likes

9.

Text - Krampus-topher Ashman @CAshmanActor professor x: what's your superpower me: finding a small moment of joy every day professor x: how is that a superpower me: *points outside to literally everything* professor x: holy shit 7:06 AM · 2020-10-10 · Twitter for iPhone

10.

Text - Dropped Mike @rebrafsim Them: how are you mike? Me: I dunno, my mom just calls me that 10:04 AM · 2020-10-10 · Twitter for iPhone

11.

Text - Mikel Jollett O @Mikel_Jollett My kid hasn't gone to school in 6 months but the President, who has an ACTIVE, currently contagious case of covid, is holding a rally with 2,000 people at the White House? 11:12 AM · 2020-10-10 · Twitter for iPhone 384 Retweets 28 Quote Tweets 2,019 Likes

12.

Text - deBOOlee @darksidedeb | stuff the holes in Swiss cheese with other cheeses. 12:40 AM · 2017-05-23 · Twitter Web Client 1,003 Retweets 138 Quote Tweets 1,946 Likes

13.

Cartoon - Lumberzack @ltsLumberzack Lumserack i am once again thinking about this pizza in particular 10:42 PM · 2020-10-09 · Twitter for iPhone 3,437 Retweets 186 Quote Tweets 25.4K Likes

14.

Text - not brendan @crocodilethumbs Happy 10/10/20s on your titties bitch 1:00 AM · 2020-10-10 · Twitter for iPhone 1,952 Retweets 48 Quote Tweets 6,897 Likes

15.

Text - Lumberzack @ltsLumberzack Lumserzach how did i get so lucky baby V > sorry you had a stressful day I'm ok now babe, thank you i have a surprise for when you get home OMG what is it babe?! i know how much you love taking romantic candle lit baths Babe you did NOT! follow the trail of rose pedals until 6:46 PM · 2020-09-29 · Twitter for iPhone 1,019 Retweets 38 Quote Tweets 8,519 Likes

16.

Text - slate @PleaseBeGneiss date: i like classic cars me: yeah the sequel sucked 1:55 PM · 2020-10-09 · Twitter for iPhone 6,856 Retweets 120 Quote Tweets 74.7K Likes

17.

Text - Aubrey Hirsch @aubreyhirsch Love an immediate, same-sentence fact-check. Search . 7:11 AM 100% A nytimes.com 2020 Latest Updates Debate Fact Check To "It's not a heavy steroid," Mr. Trump said of the heavy steroid he's been taking, dexamethasone.

18.

Text - Cathryn @AngryRaccoon2 What do people who take selfies that look exactly the same everyday want from us 4:15 PM · 2020-09-09 · Twitter for Android 318 Retweets 16 Quote Tweets 989 Likes

19.

Text - jo @WhaJoTalkinBout kids: can we get a lollipop at the bank me: if you're good *pulls mask down over my face* 3:04 PM · 2019-02-05 · Twitter for iPhone 2,746 Retweets 37 Quote Tweets 11.8K Likes

20.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK we baptize all our dinosaurs just in case all that catholic shit turns out to be true 3:36 PM · 2020-10-09 · Twitter for iPhone 979 Retweets 39 Quote Tweets 7,870 Likes

21.

Text - Eternal Samnation @portmanteauface She was a rare and beautiful thing, like a bluebird in winter or a cheeseburger that showed up the way you ordered it 3:21 PM · 2020-05-16 · Twitter for iPhone 317 Retweets 8 Quote Tweets 815 Likes

22.

Text - Carol Thee chick baskin ! @airquai23 If you see my car with a Blue Lives Matter sticker on it mind your business.. my license suspended 10:57 AM · 2020-10-09 · Twitter for Android 8,082 Retweets 1,855 Quote Tweets 82.2K Likes

23.

Text - Spaced @Spaced_Cowboy00 I caught two kids smoking pot outside office. Fifteen minutes later my my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office. 7:36 PM · 2016-06-19 · Twitter for iPhone 4,941 Retweets 132 Quote Tweets 8,730 Likes

24.

Text - David Hughes O @david8hughes Me: my wife broke the stick on my lawnmower Friend: lever Me: no I still love her 10:50 PM · 2020-07-08 · Twitter for iPhone 31 Retweets 294 Likes

25.

Text - Just J @junejuly12 "We don't dry dishes, Mom, that's air's job" annoying kid logic that you're secretly proud of. 3:02 PM · 2020-10-09 · Twitter for iPhone 121 Retweets 1 Quote Tweet 486 Likes

26.

Text - my name is no. @om_eye_goodness i blame caillou for all of this. 11:27 PM · 2020-10-09 · Twitter for iPhone 91 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 525 Likes

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