Fresh & Funny Tweets From The Jokesters Of Twitter

Twitter is pretty much the perfect joke farm for anyone hungry for some quick laughs. In can be a bit of a challenge weeding out the latest on this batshit year (sometimes we just want some simple, solid jokes), but don't worry because we've done all the work for you. These recent tweets are curated for anyone who's in the mood for a healthy chuckle without having to click on #metoobin or #internationalassday.   

1.

Calabaza - Alex Barnard ... @avb_soc My mother has truly produced the pumpkin of our era.

2.

Text - I made a funny, son! @pissandvinegar1 .. Dear men, on zoom, the camera does NOT add inches. #MeToobin 09:16 · 10/20/20 · Twitter Web App

3.

Adaptation - Doth @DothTheDoth Me and my anxiety 22:06 · 10/19/20 · Twitter for iPhone

4.

Text - Abby Shapiro OnlyFans @saintknives ... god bless america United States trends #ThankYouNurses, Join us in celebrating our heroes. A Promoted by CeraVe 1. Politics · Trending #InternationalAssDay 12K Tweets 2. Trending #TuesdayThoughts 46.6K Tweets 3. Trending #MeToobin 6,781 Tweets

5.

Text - Game 6 Osama @BonaFried Never look through your old hard drive from high school Desktop Downloads Documents Dictures *Banging Songs - Notepad File Edit Format View Help Potential sex playlist: Imagine Dragons Radioactive 10:43 · 10/17/20 · Twitter for Android

6.

Text - jon drake @DrakeGatsby ... Website: Make a password Me: Ok Website: Make it STRONGER so you don't get HACKED Me: Wow alright Website: Damn that's a strong password [1 Week Later] Website: You got hacked Me: But my password was so strong Website: Yeah the whole site got hacked. Our bad 08:49 · 10/20/20 · Twitter for iPhone

7.

Asphalt - Uncle Duke ... @UncleDuke1969 yet another job lost to covid

8.

Text - *sigh*clops's monster @aotakeo HER: ur so selfish im leaving ME: dont go i need u HER: wait reall- ME: to shave my back [door slams] ME: WHO WILL SHAVE MY BACK 09:32 · 10/20/20 · Twitter for iPhone

9.

Product - village fetish @botandy if this isn't about two feuding lobsters I'm going to be extremely disappointed Inside Canada's decades-long lobster feud 6 hours ago US & Canada 02:02 · 10/16/20 · Twitter for Android

10.

Property - Gelly Bean @funangela This house in my neighborhood every year nails Halloween decorations. THIS IS FINE, THIS IS FINE. 17:00 · 10/18/20 · Twitter for iPhone

11.

Text - hype @TheHyyyype ... me: i have an interview tomorrow mom: make sure you get some sleep [later] mom: so, how'd it go? me: the interviewer didn't like that i was sleeping 17:16 · 10/19/20 · Twitter for Android

12.

History - Adamned Cerious @Browtweaten 13:54 · 10/18/20 · Twitter for Android

13.

Text - YAEL @elle91 Mark Ruffalo sounds like the name a dog would give if he was pretending to be a man. 21:34 · 10/19/20 · Twitter for Android

14.

Text - sgt balls says buzzfeed pay me for my jo... @Barknado69 my friend: hey can i get some advice on something me who got a matching tattoo with a girl on our first and only date: yeah sure 19:09 · 10/19/20 · Twitter for iPhone

15.

Text - Ron Iver ... @ronnui_ I can't believe we're still in the same pandemic as the everything-is-cake crisis 14:54 · 10/19/20 · Twitter for Android

16.

Text - Taylor Moore @taylordotbiz My wife kept saying "you haven't been to the bedroom in a while maybe you should go in the bedroom." Sol did and found this: 18:21 · 10/16/20 · Twitter for iPhone

17.

Text - tomBSTONE @pilau [comedy show] man: ah man you're killing me comedian: [strangling him with cloth] this is great material 11:17 · 10/19/20 · Twitter Web App

18.

Product - whomst is Cy?? @Cyyfur How it started: How it's going: HINES 218 213 218 ICL LAIRS S C 218 213 unchables 20:29 · 10/17/20· Twitter for iPhone

19.

Text - carter hambley @carterhambley damn the taco bell worker said he knows i'm high and won't give me my quesadilla until i solve a riddle 21:56 · 10/15/20 · Twitter for iPhone

20.

Text - Steve vs. Ninjas @stevevsninjas what if you found out your "friend" sticks his butthole in people's faces and carries 10 concealed knives at all times? this is cats. 13:37 · 7/7/17 · Twitter for Android

21.

Text - Pinky's Brains @mack44_d ... Thate when people talk down to me like | don't already know l'm an idiot. 07:08 · 10/20/20 · Twitter for iPhone

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