Humorous Tweets & Memes For Comedy Cravings

We had a great time on Twitter today checking out the latest comical observations and quips about life. Fitting thoughts into a virtual box with a 280-word capacity is harder than it looks, so when the wordsmiths of Twitter manage to craft a good joke with brevity, we're impressed! We hope you enjoy this collection of Twitter gold as much as we did. And since we're all about memes around here, we threw a few random ones into the mix. 

1.

Music - caleb hearon @calebsaysthings "just checking in. how are you feeling? how's everything going?" 1:08 PM · 10/14/20 · Twitter for iPhone

2.

Facial expression - THIS IS IN RATCHET! ОВaebyHuey When i open the zoom vs. when i turn my camera off <>

3.

Text - Andreas Hagemann @hagmnn Can't wait to surprise my wife with an organic red bel pepper! Whole Foods Market shopper • Just now One of the items in your Whole Foods Market order is out of stock, please review substitution option(s). OUT OF STOCK SUBSTITUTION Pepper Bell Red Whole Trade Guarantee Organic, 1 Each $3.99 Rose 12 Stems 40Cm Whole Trade Guarantee $12.99 Decline Ассept 8:34 AM · 10/13/20 · Twitter Web App

4.

Text - Leigh Senderowicz @DrLeighS Replying to @hagmnn I got this one once Just now One of your items is out of stock. I found this replacement. ORGANIC Macaroni & Cheese S OUT OF STOCK REPLACEMENT 365 Everyday Value, Macaroni Apex Medical, Thermometer Fast Read And Cheese Family Size Organic, 12 $9.99 Ounce $2.99 Decline Ассept Type a message... SEND

5.

Text - Whole FFLL-GET HER AN ORGANIC One of the ilRED BELL PEPPER Whole Foods Market order is out of stock, please review substitution option(s). OUT OF STOCK SUBSTITUTION Pepper Bell Red Whole Trade Guarantee Organic, Rose 12 Stems 40Cm Whole Trade Guarantee $12.99 1 Each $3.99 BITCHES LOVE ORGANIC RED BELL PEPPERS

6.

Marine mammal - How would a whale wear a mask?

7.

Human - Jackothy Göd WaveRyder @TommyRainmaker "billie eilish got fat" 9:46 PM · 10/14/20 · Twitter Web App LAGER

8.

Text - Dong Copter @AdamantAnarchy The Top 12 States To Live In Indicated By Yellow Wastingron Moth Mara Vena s Miesta New Farphe Ma eth Oeen Then Yok ade end Cierec hew ey Nyonng Pe aria Ner oh Waingon e Narand Co Kara Rentecky Temessee Oehama Seuth Cara Arore New Mece 500 aea Geee tess Roed Hovoi 400km 400 km dads 10:35 PM · 10/14/20 · Twitter for Android

9.

Pink - Flora underscore underscore Flora @Flora_Flora Every girls fantasy Smiffy's CR'S Fantasy 12-99 VICTORIAN POOR GIR "fun 33714 SAPPEDK 115-128 CM MAPPROK 130-14) CM I AGE 1012 www.smiffys.com APPROK 145 158 CM 1:44 PM · 10/14/20 · Twitter for iPhone

10.

Text - Paul May P @realPaulMay In D.C. a friend of mine was reading the "The Exorcist ". He felt it was the most evil book he'd ever read. So evil he couldn't finish it. One weekend he threw the book into Chesapeake Bay. I went 2 a bookstore. Bought another copy. Ran it under water. Put it in his сору. desk draw. 7:40 AM · 10/14/20 · Twitter for iPad

11.

Outerwear - Paul @bingowings14 Anything to avoid putting the heating on

12.

Room - Popcorn? 102 พลาสติกกันน้ำ 100 PEN CM 634 1408 TEL : OP0- 3775 080-07434

13.

Text - A Cat Named Bitches @Bitchesth... · 1h v Floof being all creepy. O 15 27.15 ♡ 273 Donna @docjustdoc Replying to @BitchestheCat "Come play with us, Puffy." GIF 10:02 PM. 10/14/20: Twitter for iPhone.

14.

Text - Grave Rob N Roll @thegallowboob proof that math is sexy 184 12. INTRODUCTION TO PHASE TRANSITIONS T<T T<T T=T; T=T, T>T; T>T 1st order 2nd order FIGURE 12.6: The scenario for a first and for a second order transition. 7:59 PM · 10/11/20 · Twitter for iPhone

15.

Geological phenomenon - The Interest Rate on my credit cards Me My lil paycheck

16.

Adaptation - WeRateDogs® O @dog_rates This is Jaeger. He tried to get up the step. He really did. Does not want your help. Just gonna take a nap and figure it out later. 12/10 : Kristen Bryn 4:55 PM · 10/14/20 · Twitter for iPhone

17.

Wrestling - New bag of ice Me

18.

Text - Jessie @mommajessiec Advertisements for women: Gentle, silky, smooth, soft, radiant, natural, moisturizing, refreshing, lightweight. Bright! Happy! Younger looking skin! Packed with nutrients! COLLAGEN!! Advertisements for men: Soap 8:24 AM · 10/14/20 · Twitter for iPhone

19.

Bird - I live in constant fear MHAHN

20.

Text - Priscilla @itsPKav Imodium should never come in this packaging DO YOU THINK WE HAVE TIME FOR THIS KIND OF HASSLE WHEN WE NEED IMODIUM 25 4:14 PM · 10/13/20 · Twitter for iPhone

21.

Text - Midge (Söze) @mxmclain After 7 months at home, l'd expect to be less exhausted. 1:14 PM · 10/14/20 · Twitter for iPhone

22.

Text - LIKE.MAN, IM TIRED Jamie East (OF WAITNG @jamieeast hero An antisocial Spanish woman reportedly pretended to be blind for 28 years, so that she wouldn't have to stop and say hello to people in the street. Carmen Jiménez, 57, told everyone, including her own family, that she'd lost her vision in an accident. Her husband and family were shocked when she came clean, yet not entirely surprised. They'd felt there was something fishy about her story: her husband said she could put on her makeup

23.

Text - raina @quakerraina My favorite genre of movie is "someone coughs blood into a napkin and then doesn't tell anyone " 8:17 PM · 10/13/20 · Twitter for iPhone

24.

Iron - No I don't have a second for Jesus christ and the latter day saints, thaaanks

25.

Face - Nobody: Cats:

26.

Text - Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal | could come face-to-face with a realass werewolf this Halloween and it still wouldn't rank in the top ten scariest shit l've seen in 2020. 12:06 PM · 10/14/20 · Twitter Web App

27.

Text - eLive 50 minutes ago Nice car. Please just pay off your loan to me A Little today. 3:43 AM Hi I have work in Orlando that you can do to pay you a portion of the $150. I have 5 hour on Saturday and Sunday for you at $12 per hour. =$120 Can you do this? If so I have the location and job details. 7:36 AM So you're coming to Orlando to work so you can pay me? Cool. Because it kinda read like l'd be working to make money and that would somehow pay off your debt? Aa

28.

Fashion - When you're getting destroyed in an argument so you correct their grammar

29.

Text - а. @brownboklit this can't be the same brain i was using to read 750 page novels in 3 days during middle school 10:53 PM · 11 Oct 20 · Twitter for iPhone

30.

Text - Amy S. Pumpkins @cableknitjumper reddit: denver airport is creepy because it has a sculpture that killed its own creator me: ppffft how scary can this sculpture be, also I bet it doesn't have a very silly nickname Blue Mustang: Blue Mustang Blucifer

31.

Text - Can I sue my beekeeper neighbor? Every day i see my neighbor's bees flying around my garden stealing the pollen or nectar from my flowers. Then the bees go back to my neighbor and creates honey. My neighbor then harvests the honey and sells it at Pepper Place Market for profit. I have never recieved so much as a jar of honey as compensation and everyday my neighbors bees trespass and steal my flowers. I was stung once when I was a child, so i know how dangerous bees can be. The way i see

32.

Text - O steph e @eff_yeah_steph Me: *makes a left at the light* My groceries in back: 1:41 PM · 10/14/20 · Twitter for iPhone

33.

Footwear - Boots with the fur (with the fur)

34.

Product - it's our turn ladies 105 ju da tried . - ɔt no rep you Ju y .... am -- wym Delivered bro huh?? y VUL am iMessage wym

35.

People - HOM DOE2IL LEET moa giftomi

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