47 Time-Wasting Memes & Tweets

Are you one of the many people in the world who is fending off panic attacksand just trying to get a decent night's rest? Join the club. Though we can't speed up the election results or cure the other ails of the world, we can offer up some distraction-worthy memes for this trying time. Here's hoping we make it through all of these alive.

1.

Text - jon drake @DrakeGatsby Cleaning a cast iron skillet: - Rub the still-warm interior with paper towels - Scrub with nonabrasive scrub pad - Answer the skillet's riddles three - Heat over medium-low heat - Bathe skillet in the light of the blood moon and recite the Ancient Words - Rub with olive oil

2.

Facial expression - Saxon Kingdoms: *are ravaged by and fall to the Great Heathen Army* Brittonic Kingdoms: OH NO! ANYWAY

3.

Facial expression - NORMAL PEOPLE WHEN THEY GET SHOT:I NEED HELP! TEDDY ROOSEVELT: OH NO! ANYWAY p witih mematic

4.

Cartoon - me explaining thạt if you run bottom-shelf vodka through a brita filter it'll taste almost like upper mid-shelf vodka my therapist hoping I'll die soon

5.

Text - One day you will meet someone who loves you exactly as you are, and gradually discover that they are mentally ill

6.

Mammal - No horny allowed NO HORNY hmmm.. maybe just a little horny...

7.

Text - JÆL @elle91 Me as a kid: [Falls 10 feet from the monkey bars] l'M OK Me now: I tried to scoop ice cream that was just a little too frozen and I dislocated my shoulder.

8.

Facial expression - Customer Service Voice Customer Service Regular Voice Voice during a pandemic Customer Service Voice when they ask for a manager, and I AM the manager

9.

Computer keyboard - The wireless mouse i ordered doesn't even work .. it just beeps @undercover_birb 1T or

10.

C-3po - Me : IN JAPAN, BROKEN OBJECTS are OFTEN REPAIRED WITH GOLD. THE FLAW is SEEN as A UNIQUE PIECE OF the OBJECT'S HISTORY, WHICH ADDS TO its BEAUTY. CONSIDER THIS WHEN YOu FEEL BROKEN.

11.

Land vehicle - Russia Islam KHOMB621 This is brilliant. 11 7Russia Alcohol K-OM8621 But I like this.

12.

Job - "Graphic design is my passion" Cer A HOE

13.

People - my face under my mask at work

14.

millipedes - Millipede Centipede Killopede

15.

Nose - Just ordered my new mask!

16.

Illustration - dealer: slaps roof of enterprise US ENTERPRISE NEC-1701D Wwww.

17.

Face - "let's split up gang, me and Daphne will search the bedroom"

18.

Text - Kellen @captainkalvis me: how come penguins can't fly zookeeper: their bodies are too heav- me: is it because god fears them zookeeper: what? me: did god make them heavy birds because they're his only weakness zookeeper: [whispering] shut your fucking mouth if you know what's good for u 7:14 PM 2019-06-04 · Twitter Web Client

19.

Child - Pancake The Classic Vertical One-In-A-Row Game

20.

Movie - Make the crossover meme! But Sire, it makes no sense! Do it.

21.

Helmet - the boys me voice crack my roast in an argument

22.

Diving equipment - When your little brother runs over your foot with his tricycle so you run him over with the lawn mower Choo Choo Motherfucker

23.

Text - dilemmemily: one time we got a new kid in fifth grade and he walks right in and sticks his hand under the stapler and staples his hand and just looks at the teacher and goes "I'm going to the nurse" and leaves

24.

Text - Quackity @QuackityHQ Adam and Eve: *sin* God: Your game mode has been updated to Survival Mode 19:49 · 2019-08-08 · Twitter for Android 13,5T Retweets 60,4T gillamarkeringar

25.

Cartoon - When you ask an employee at the shoe store for a shoe: TimeBiandt Fun

26.

Text - Getting drunk is never an excuse. She's your daughter. Not your date. We're calling Incast sut. 1-850-681-2111 rafugebouse.com Refuge House Sinp The Viee CANCARO The entire Alabama population: That sign can't stop me becauseI can't read!

27.

Purple - *The cop giving my father a traffic ticket* My little brother behind the window:

28.

Facial expression - My School Project partner that did literally nothing: Are you sure this will work!? Me, About to present Ha ha, I have no idea!

29.

Animated cartoon - When you're about to lose your shit but gotta chill because you're at work

30.

Sport venue - Flat-Earther accidentally proves the earth is round in his own experiment 17 ft. 17 ft. 23 ft. WATER LEVEL in It hurt itself its confusion!

31.

Text - Oops!...I Dad It Again @NewDadNotes Mammoth: [slides $20 across the table] I need you to take out the Dinosaurs. God: [pocketing money] how do you want it done? Mammoth: make it look like an accident. God: I'll hit em with a rock. Mammoth: what? no I said an accident. God: a big ole space rock.

32.

Text - me: [pointing at penis] what's this for god: many things me: [stirring coffee] god: no

33.

Tennis - Huge duck-billed platypus sucks man's face off during Wimbledon quarter final.

34.

Cross - Bored with regular Jesus? Spice up your wall with BunGeeZusTM

35.

Text - Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal My 3 year old asked how long he had to wait until he could stop listening to me. I told him he had to listen to me for the rest of his life. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "I'll listen to you for the rest of YOUR life." Toddlers are cold-blooded, man. >

36.

Text - Casual Posting Yesterday at 1:00 PM • mark, my words. *mark brings me my dictionary* thank you mark

37.

Text - Teacher: Okay today we are going to draw our family trees The alabama exchange student: Gite

38.

Terrestrial plant - Beans: bae come over Corn: I cant my growth is limited by a lack of bioavailable nitrogen Beans: my roots contain nitrogen fixing rhizobia which enrich the soil with ammonia and other nitrogen compounds Corn:

39.

Police - CK CK Job-stealing immigrant ARRESTED after cops find 63 jobs in basement

40.

Text - Hoppers @FrogAvalanche [2021] One smoker left in the world. The Quit Smoking ads get personal. HEY KEVIN, STOP SMOKING. YOU STINK. YOUR WIFE SAYS YOU NEED VIAGRA. 8/25/14, 3:22 PM 3,229 RETWEETS 6,573 LIKES

41.

Text - Air resistance : *exists Physics questions : You have no place in this story. You come from nothing. You're nothing.

42.

Purple - "The wifi password is on the back of the router" The router:

43.

Cartoon - 68% 04:19 Oh, yeah, It's all coming together.

44.

Cartoon - Me."turmning of the fan because it's cold People in the helecopter:

45.

Cartoon

46.

Poster - "I can show you the world." "Except the United States." Not Alowain PICTOPHILE

47.

Wire - my headphones wire: my chair: delicious Finally, some good fucking food

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