AskReddit Thread For Naked Sleepers Strikes Comedy Gold

Tilesh Bo November 01, 2020

Some AskReddit threads are informative. They open peoples minds. They help to educate the ignorant, and heal the broken. Not this thread. This thread's greatest success is making us laugh out loud at our sad desks. This thread tackles the hard-hitting question of what naked sleepers would do when confronted with situations such as A) Fire and B) Burglary. It's not very deep. The question might even be unnecessary, but gosh darn if it ain't entertaining.

1.

Text - r/AskReddit + JOIN u/Nazamroth• 8h 的131 People who sleep naked, what is your plan in case of a fire or murderer? Discussion

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Text - Gwob4 • 8h 3 3 Awards Same thing just nude 12.5k Reply

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Text - AccioSexLife • 8h A S 7 Awards 1. Use a fire extinguisher, naked. 2. Fight the intruder, naked. 41.2k Reply

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Text - TheMadFlyentist • 3h 3 3 Awards It's not superpowers - it's a mind game. You ever consider the logistics of fighting a naked person? There's a lot to keep track of. I don't care how much of a tough guy you are - when another man's junk grazing against your face is a real possibility, you're gonna be nervous, and nervousness leads to mistakes. Nobody wants to be the home invader who got knocked out by a naked homeowner who then took a selfie pressing his dick down your forehead like a medi

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Text - EllySwaby • 2h 1 Award For fire i have no plan, for robbery or murderers, is there really anything scarier than a naked white man running at you with a Glock 27 in one hand and a large knife in the other? I mean at that point the intruder has gotta be thinking, Does he know how to use the gun? What about the knife,does he know how to do that? Why are his testicles hanging so low? Why does he have an erection? 1.1k

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Text - Empathetic_Orch • 8h Well if there's a murderer my lack of clothes won't protect him from my abundance of bullets. If there's a fire I have these girls pajamas that are really comfortable, and more importantly they dont have the slice or whatever in the front. That way I can slip them on grab a cat and run without my dick trying to run interference. Reply 30 ...

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Text - Thneed1 • 3h Fires of Reddit: what is your plan when you are doing your fire thing, and see a naked man trying to put you out? 674 CHIVE • 2h 3 1 Award WO00OSSSHHHEEWWWEWWWSSSSSHHJHHH ННЕЕЕЕЕЕЕEII 343 2 MORE REPLIES mAAstah • 2h Hi, professional fire here. We don't care about gender, sexual preferences and naked skin. We are 100% A-Sexual but still like to burn humans cloths off because that's just like we are. Natural, raw and hot. Sadly most humans get hurt in that process but thats jus

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Text - Swim up the pee stream 3 lionheart4life • 2h I won't put out until I'm ready. djsnoopmike • 2h Go to every single inflammable object and multiply They can't fight all of us 2 jackspratt88 • 2h Weenie roast •..

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Text - NutrientEK • 7h 23 Awards I sleep naked. I woke up randomly one night, confused and disoriented. The house was full of a thick smoke from my knees up, and the stench was nearly unbearable. What happened was I had been burning sticks of incense, and would just stick them upright in an old candle. I probably amassed a good 100+ sticks up to that night. I went to bed with one lit. Well... The whole mass of tiny sticks went up like a smoke grenade. When I jumped out of bed, I ran to my back d

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Text - I then opened all the windows and doors, calming down. Then I realized that my cats were probably running away. I tossed a housecoat on with no belt and ran outside with a flashlight. I probably looked like a fuckin' nutcase outside with my junk hanging out, waving a flashlight, loudly going "PST PST PST PST PST" at 2am, with a Snoop Dogg amount of smoke coming out of every hole in my house. I spent the next several hours waving a large rubbermade container lid around in every room to dis

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Text - The-BOSS-D4C•4h Helicopter my dong and fly to safety obviously what else are they used for other than flight, I feel sorry for those below average and girls with short hair and that is why short dong guys should have long hair Reply 18

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Text - NewPageOfSwords • 6h For fire, I scare the fire spirits away with hideous amount of pubes For murderers, I scare them off with my hideous amount of pubes Reply 41

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Text - Bibliophile1981• 3h 3 6 Awards My husband and I are in our 40s, and we have lived life. My body shows the signs of childbirth, weight loss, surgeries, and extended breast-feeding. Despite this, I sleep nude. My husband leaves for work no later than 4 am. He is a Marine, and is stickler about this. One morning our security system goes off at 4:30. I see the time, and know it can't be him. I immediately think of our 10 year old daughter sleeping down the hall. I unlock the gun safe as quick

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Text - Once everything is in focus, I instantly see that it is my husband that had set off the alarm (he had forgotten his security pass for work). The screaming was from our daughter. She had woken up when he was getting ready for work, and fallen back asleep on the couch. She said the alarm going off was less terrifying than seeing her armed, bed-headed, nude, floppy-skinned mother running out of the room, with mother-bear type of murder written all over my face. The only thing that could have

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Text - Potential_Radish • 4h 3 1 Award in case of fire or murder, the embarrassment of someone seeing my 45 year old mashed-potatoes- belly-floppy-mommy-tits-and-no-sex-in-five-years- retro-porn-bush will take a backseat to death. Reply 142

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Text - descriptive-username • 7h I have robes hanging on the back of the door. An attacker? Gonna grab my batton flashlight with pointed ribs that looks like a scary dildo and swing it at them. Decided being naked ain't gonna be a worry if someone is trying to rape or kill me. I'll be more nimble anyway. May be wierd to have someone in an armbar with straight pussy on em but tbh l'll probs try break the arm quicker if l'm having to do that. 486 Reply

17.

Text - sherminator19• 9h Whip out my cocktail sausage to make the fire and/or burglar leave me alone because of guilt. 116 Reply

18.

Text - Nwsamurai • 9h 3 2 Awards You: "It's just you and me now." Fire: crackle 2.2k

19.

Text - be_my_plaything • 9h Sleeping naked literally is my plan in both those cases. If the house is on fire I assume it would be warm, probably excessively so, by already being naked I have few seconds advantage on the heat becoming unbearable. If a murderer enters the house while I'm asleep I figure the best course of defence is to scare them off, l'm not by nature a frightening man, but I figure to a nighttime intruder an angry naked guy running at you balls swinging freely would be somewhat

20.

Text - TapLicker • 8h Frighten the fire or murderer into submission by helicopter dicking all night long. Reply 671 Cloaked42m • 4h Finally found the answer I was going to post. Helicopter is the answer to both. 145

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Tagged: naked , sleeping naked , Burglary , askreddit , fires , nude sleeping , comedy , reddit thread , Reddit , funny

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