This week in surreal 2020 headlines: Russian meat mogul Vladimir 'Sausage King' Marugov was found dead in his Moscow home early Monday morning after intruders invaded Sausage King's sauna, tied him and his partner up, demanded cash, and shot him with a crossbow. The woman managed to flee and call for help, though the assailants escaped in a getaway car before the police arrived.
As soon as word of the Sausage King butchery hit the front-pages, Twitter erupted with meat puns, hypothetical 2020 bingo card quips, and tongue-in-cheek speculations about the possible involvement of fictional Ferris Bueller character Abe Froman, Sausage King of Chicago. We've put together some of the funniest reactions to the bizarre Russian headline.
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Russian oligarch nicknamed the 'Sausage King' killed in sauna with crossbow https://t.co/BwZ3Vfqe4I
— BBC News (World) (@BBCWorld) November 2, 2020
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I bet the Sausage King had links to organized crimes.
— The Hoarse Whisperer (@TheRealHoarse) November 2, 2020
I’d grill his associates. Really turn up the heat. Maybe flip a couple. https://t.co/cF6MMek39f
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What will become of the sausage people
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) November 2, 2020
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It was the Sausage King, in the Sauna, with the Crossbow. #Clue https://t.co/l5kr6AlC4p
— jon gabriel (@exjon) November 2, 2020
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from a sausage king into a kebab
— Meursault (@LetrangerTom) November 2, 2020
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leave the arbalest, take the kielbasahttps://t.co/cvJ8BMpmjX
— Eddy Elfenbein (@EddyElfenbein) November 2, 2020
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"The most ambitious crossover event in history!"
— PCR RitesGood (@pcrritesgood) November 2, 2020
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Twas me. pic.twitter.com/R8Ic78cZBq
— John Mitchell (@johntmitch) November 2, 2020
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BBC coming through with some hot links this morning!
— Fernando Martinez (@fmartinez80) November 2, 2020
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This is the wurst news. I never sausage headline before in my life. It really grinds me up inside. The news is stuffed with so much bad news lately.
— Schattenwulf 🖤🌒🌕🌘🐺🏴☠️♠️♑ (@Schattenwulf) November 2, 2020
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They have no Prime suspect.
— Mike Pesca (@pescami) November 2, 2020
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rip but i now claim the title of sausage king https://t.co/38IyRQBkX7
— Al (@co0ter) November 2, 2020
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RIP Abe Froman https://t.co/U2mDCDGL81
— Kevin M. Kruse (@KevinMKruse) November 2, 2020
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The sausage king of Chicago is wanted for questioning https://t.co/3iepFPVHHG pic.twitter.com/7EW8873Ldj
— Giles Brody (@GilesBrody) November 2, 2020
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Hail the sausage king! pic.twitter.com/XeBp6WvjTN
— Jase 🌵 The Space Cowboy (@GunslingingYote) November 2, 2020
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— ((Fitzy)) 🐍 (@TheFknLizrdKing) November 2, 2020
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This is the most Russian crime ever. pic.twitter.com/xTMQslzs2S
— Harry Pujols (@harrypujols) November 2, 2020
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im not going to make a joke here out of respect to the natural hilarity of this whole situation
— Simon Girthy (@daggerandpen) November 2, 2020
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