24 Clever & Relatable Twitter Gems

Twitter's got a lot of benefits. You can see what's going on in the world - and what people think about it - in real time. That can also be a downside when some people start sharing their opinions. But it's also a place where creative comedians and writers can show off their clever chops. We've put together some primo amusing and relatable examples here for you, but you can indulge in more short and sweet humor by clicking here. 

1.

Text - Rob Actually @RobbyActually We only use 10% of our brains because the other 90% is busy storing traumatic memories to randomly bring up at the most inconvenient time 11:41 AM · 2020-12-21 · Twitter for Android 72 Retweets 2 Quote Tweets 487 Likes

2.

Text - Born Miserable @bornmiserable I like how people say "manage your depression" like it's a stock portfolio but you're heavily invested in sadness 2:16 AM · 2016-07-12 · Twitter for iPhone 7,857 Retweets 136 Quote Tweets 16K Likes

3.

Text - rax 'dirtbag valedictorian' king @RaxKinglsDead i think there should be a thing where every year on your birthday, your friends & loved ones have to tell you the stuff they'd say about you if it were your funeral. so. do that 10:58 AM · 2020-12-21 · Twitter for iPhone 38 Retweets 6 Quote Tweets 549 Likes

4.

Text - Pinky's Missile Toes @mack44_d I don't feel like l actually know Dasher, Dancer, Prancer or Vixen at all, honestly. 8:37 AM · 2020-12-21 · Twitter for iPhone 131 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 286 Likes

5.

Text - Sweet Momissa @sweetmomissa All I want is to be left alone, but please don't ever leave me alone. Why is this so hard for everyone to understand? 5:10 PM · 2020-02-15 · Twitter for Android 353 Retweets 16 Quote Tweets 1,049 Likes

6.

Text - Oscar the Grouch @OscarTheGrouch This holiday, I'm gonna stay home in my trash can and avoid people. 3:00 PM · 2020-12-21 · Hootsuite Inc. 3,163 Retweets 666 Quote Tweets 13.4K Likes

7.

Text - RTHD FROthday VOy @fro_vo ROBIN: the batmobile won't start BATMAN: check the battery ROBIN: what's a tery 1:03 PM · 2018-01-06 · Twitter for iPhone 74.2K Retweets 1,628 Quote Tweets 214K Likes

8.

Text - jo @whatsJo mugger: how much you got me: *looks in my purse and sees two snickers bars* one snickers bar 11:43 PM · 2019-10-24 · Twitter for iPhone 2,868 Retweets 33 Quote Tweets 18.5K Likes

9.

Text - moody monday @mdob11 "Cheer up", I say, curing someone of depression. 8:40 PM · 2015-03-08 · Twitter for iPhone 7,795 Retweets 25 Quote Tweets 13.7K Likes

10.

Text - Mave @MavenofHonor *grabs your ankle from a storm sewer* if your barbie doll needs a hula hoop use an onion ring 2:03 PM · 2016-03-24 · Twitter for iPhone 1,475 Retweets 8 Quote Tweets 4,513 Likes

11.

Colorfulness - Eileen MERRY 'Connell @i_Lean Mentally I am here 8:00 PM · 2020-12-14 · Twitter for iPhone 343 Retweets 61 Quote Tweets 3,221 Likes

12.

Text - spacegirl incognito @iamspacegirl me: ah, now I will drift gently off to dreamland. refrigerator: I SHALL MAKE US SOME ICE CUBES 1:16 PM · 2018-10-05 · Twitter for iPhone 3,423 Retweets 48 Quote Tweets 17.7K Likes

13.

Text - Stevenson Waltien @waltien When I tell people I'm planning a lot of travel this weekend, they tend to get a little angry... until I explain with a wink that all my travels will be through the magic of literature. Then they get furious. 12:34 AM · 2020-11-24 · Twitter Web App 4,892 Retweets 232 Quote Tweets 59.5K Likes

14.

Text - Bryan Donaldson O @TheNardvark When you're cutting wrapping paper and your scissors start to glide is what T imagine heroin feels like. 12:34 AM · 2013-12-25 · Tweetbot for iOS 20.7K Retweets 174 Quote Tweets 38.3K Likes

15.

Text - James Felton O ... @JimMFelton Slowly BBC News (UK) @BBCNews · 17h NEWS How should you talk to friends and relatives who believe conspiracy theories? bbc.in/ 3rf3cK2 9:28 AM · 2020-12-21 · Twitter for iPhone 397 Retweets 9 Quote Tweets 6,969 Likes

16.

Text - Kar @karlogan_ Not to victim blame or anything but Bruce Wayne's parents really took a shortcut through a neighborhood called Crime Alley wearing fur coats and pearl necklaces. 11:16 AM · 2020-12-21 · Twitter for Android 17.1K Retweets 1,312 Quote Tweets 124K Likes

17.

Feliz Navizad @perlhack I know my depression is getting better because now I leave stuff in the DRYER for two days instead of the WASHER 1:53 AM · 2020-12-21 · Twitter Web App 405 Retweets 18 Quote Tweets 4,049 Likes

18.

Text - lan Boudreau @iboudreau Of course people are going to buy video game consoles with their stimulus checks. If you're fucked financially, $600 doesn't change that whatsoever. But you could at least be financially fucked with an Xbox. 9:02 AM · 2020-12-21 · Twitter for Android 4,117 Retweets 230 Quote Tweets 26.4K Likes

19.

Text - randy @randypaint absolutely insane that armies used to have drummers. like hello yes we are here to slaughter each other but before that my boy nathaniel's gonna drop a sick ass beat on yall Imao show em how it's done nate 6:28 PM · 2020-12-21 · Twitter for iPhone 472 Retweets 23 Quote Tweets 3,805 Likes

20.

Text - giabuchi lastrassi @jaboukie the $600 stimulus isn't in bad faith almost half of congress thinks its 1949 11:02 PM · 2020-12-21 · Twitter Web App 5,354 Retweets 112 Quote Tweets 65.3K Likes

21.

Text - Hanif Abdurraqib O @NifMuhammad they really hit the grinch with six verses of straight insults back to back with no chorus 8:08 PM · 2020-12-21 · Twitter Web App 3,891 Retweets 180 Quote Tweets 50.2K Likes

22.

Text - giabuchi lastrassi @jaboukie ... during the rapture jesus will proclaim "Ass Fat" and all those who do not reply "Yeah I know" will be left 1:39 PM · 2020-11-18 · Twitter for iPhone 4,991 Retweets 195 Quote Tweets 41.6K Likes

23.

Text - Trophy Wife Christina Y @RoobsC Me: If you could be any animal what would you be? 9: A bee because I think stabbing people with your butt would be cool 3:13 PM · 2020-12-21 · Twitter for Android 36 Retweets 5 Quote Tweets 307 Likes

24.

Text - giabuchi lastrassi @jaboukie false. it's prostate A Rep. Jim Jordan O @Jim_Jordan · 4d The best stimulus? A job. 7:05 PM · 2020-12-19 · Twitter for iPhone 7,542 Retweets 139 Quote Tweets 84.4K Likes

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