27 Funny & Intriguing Tumblr Gems

Tilesh Bo December 12, 2020

Social media users who are more active on platforms like Twitter, Instagram, and Reddit might forget that Tumblr is still active and brimming with content gold. We've got a bunch of snapshots of funny exchanges and amusing observations that illustrate why Tumblr is its own special little insular world.

1.

Text - one-time-i-dreamt Seguir clara! @somfeelingood I am Narcissus and my little zoom square is my lake ishipitlikeups Seguir This is modern poetry 84.441 notas

2.

Text - | the-memedaddy Follow I doubt it @ifkndoubtit Idk how many more "it is what it is" | got left in me man 8:50 pm · 31/12/19 · Twitter for iPhone meirl sunflowercocoa idk if the date this was posted on makes it funnier or sadder

3.

Text - mechsuit Follow Anonymous asked: arent u white? mechsuit answered: im turkish so i cant answer this without at least 3 historians and an anthropologist present

4.

Text - post--grad i am absolutely dragging myself through grading my last 6 papers, it is 9:30pm, and one of my favorite students has just used the phrase "Satan and his Gucci gang" in his milton essay post--grad In Paradise Lost, Hell is inhabited by Satan and his possy. This includes Satan himself, Mammon, Beelzebub, Belial, and Moloc, the Mean Girls of the afterlife. They all appear as these immoral beasts under Milton's dense reading, but Hector you are KILLING me the-eleventh-lady Give Hect

5.

Text - assiraphales Follow hot take : animated films need to stop hiring popular actors and start hiring talented voice actors 9,478 notes

6.

Text - xenosaurus I think the greatest irony of my life is when the cafeteria at my college changed all the lights to blue bulbs for "autism awareness", which fucked with my sensory issues badly enough that I could barely stand to be in the building xenosaurus I was certainly aware of my autism, at least. 14,721 notes

7.

Text - The moral of Rudolph the Red nose reindeer is that no one likes you unless you're useful. rudolph the red-nosed reindeer as capitalist propaganda: discuss rudolph was already exactly as useful as the other reindeer. the moral is deviation from the norm will be punished unless it is exploitable Kids, could you lighten up a little?

8.

Text - miss-vicktOre Follow Yo Canada, quick question. Why is your money see through?!? cookie-sheet-toboggan Follow so we can shine a laser pointer through the window and see the value amount projected afar as added protection from forgeries TWENTY VINGT DOLLARS justcyborgthings Yo USA, why the FUCK are we still using fragile scraps of linen like fucking animals when we could have fucking Laser Show Dollars instead? Cana GOVERNOR SOUS GOUVENEUR

9.

Text - pervocracy Fun statistical fact: Cows are about 300 times more likely to kill you than coyotes. Minor sidenote to statistical fact: If it was common for people to keep several hundred coyotes on their property and routinely chase them into a corral and handle them, this statistic would be different. ajaegerpilot #thats why presentation of data matters #to prevent misinformation Source: pervocracy

10.

Text - Why Did God Create Atheists? There is a famous story told in Chassidic literature that addresses this very question. The Master teaches the student that God created everything in the world to be appreciated, since everything is here to teach us a lesson. One clever student asks "What lesson can we learn from atheists? Why did God create them?" The Master responds "God created atheists to teach us the most important lesson of them all- the lesson of true compassion. You see, when an atheis

11.

Text - Look, if Hollywood is gonna make movies set during quarantine over the next few years, I demand they make a movie about the fact the Cannonball Run record, the speed record for driving from New York to California, was broken three times during quarantine. Because a bunch of different people realized "Oh shit, we don't have to deal with traffic", and took the opportunity. C'mon, it'd be a sports movie and a crime movie at the same time! 20 920 notes

12.

Blue - squided S'abonner What's up with the fairly recent trend of leap years all being bad fucking years like 2008? Shit. 2012? Fucking shit. 2016? Absolute fucking shit. I'm just gonna predict 2020 is gonna be the Most Absolute Stinky Piece of Shit year to date squided S'abonner Date of Origin: July 3, 2018 roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it BITCH

13.

Text - queercassianandor "van gogh ate yellow paint because-" he was suicidal, karen phindsy "If Van Goah had antidepressants, we wouldn't have his artwo-" We'd have a lot more of his work, Karen, and who the fuck cares about what we get from him he deserved to be well, karen. c-chanfromda "he cut his ear off for a woman because he lo-" because he was mentally ill, Karen.

14.

Screenshot - taeminelitist Follow n*ji @nojivert sleeping with a blanket is lowkey girly af thats just me tho iệr 1ệr 6:00 AM · 11/21/20 · Twitter for iPhone fellas, is it gay to not want to freeze to death at night?? kibumkim Follow Yes who u gotta be warm for? A man?

15.

Text - writing-prompt-s Your landlord is a vampire, so he offers you a deal. You can pay your rent in money... or in blood. hedgeworth Follow This is just the oh no rent's late how can I make it up to you porn trope but for goths.

16.

Text - weirdchristmas Follow Your quarantine nickname is: How you feel right now The last thing you ate monkeywiki Follow limp biscuit

17.

Text - aivosumu My counselor, talking about psychology: “Our frontal lobe is what separates us from monkeys." Me: “You mean the part that doesn't work properly in my brain?" My counselor: "Right." Me: "Right." marshals-to-dictators Follow So what you're saying is, basically hauntedstairs Follow im monky

18.

Text - writterings whenever a young kid joins our staff at work im just like huh. guess im a father now. writterings these kids will be like "can you drive me home? i don't have gas money but-" and im already pullin out my keys and am like. sweetheart, you are a child. i am not charging a child gas money. writterings i literally almost lunged across the counter to throw hands with some old hag who yelled at and insulted one of our 16 y/o girls but instead i threw her sandwich at her and told her

19.

Text - sexhaver just watched Shape of Water on the plane and like. damn. she really flooded her whole apartment for that fish dick sexhaver cinged frankly its just like that sometimes it literally isnt and im concerned cinged coward sexhaver fishfucker

20.

Text - canadianinja Seguir My dad kept having trouble with my pronouns (they/them) so I told him to pretend I was a swarm of bees and it somehow helped oak-png Seguir the NB in Non Binary actually stands for Numerous Bees #what is a human if not an autonomous collective of microbes in a mammal suit?

21.

Text - whitepeopletwitter Sarah Lazarus @sarahclazarus if even one bad thing happens in 2020 I will completely lose my shit 12:43 PM · 2020-01-01 · Twitter for iPhone 908 Retweets 176 Quote Tweets 4,979 Likes hey-homeboy Follow someone check on her 40 245 notes

22.

Lighting - Hello MTV, this is Marilyn Manson and welcome to my Marilyn Mansion kanyewesticle: he saw the opportunity and he took it

23.

Text - uhlfric i enter the web design class h1 { font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: "50px"; font-color: "magenta"; } sasshunter I am forcibly removed from the web design class. Source: uhlfric 190,560 notes

24.

Green - The Filmatelist liked Erika Heidewald, Demon of Gratitude. Hoe Hoe Hoe @erikaheidewald Dating tip: if a guy tells you he's not very political, he's conservative but has learned that won't get him laid 7:46 PM - 11/19/19 - Twitter for iPhone Accurate Inaccurate when I say l'm not very political it's because l'm not. I'm a libertarian that leans conservative but politics bore me. The next post on this dudes blog is about how women are naturally inferior

25.

Text - tilthat Follow TIL that Thomas Edison would hire thugs to destroy movie sets because he felt that he owned the rights to any and all film made since he filed the first patent for the motion picture camera via reddit.com justthesource Follow source: http://www.history.com/.amp/news/the-renegade-roots-of- hollywood-studios moonlandingwasfaked everything i learn about thomas edison is worse than the previous thing what a shit head asshole powerburial Follow elon musk really is the next thoma

26.

Blue - genderfluid-and-confuzled Follow How do I tell someone I like them? genderfluid-and-confuzled Follow update: iMessage Today 5:12 PM sup im in love with you also what's the answer for number four on the math hw? akira-is-here-queers Follow i'm impressed

27.

Text - trash-like-me Follow I'm still reeling over the fact when I went with my friend to a renaissance fair, there was a lady who was handing out samples. My friend took a bite of it and all I heard was "My lord that's soap"

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