Amusing Twitter Thread Roasts The Crap Out Of Newborns

Tilesh Bo December 10, 2020

Everyone loves a good roast, but @charlee_buns just upped the ante with this incredible thread dedicated to slandering infants. Finally, a safe space for exhausted parents and baby-phobes to commiserate! We like to think that even "breeders" will enjoy these goofy roasts.

1.

twitter post about newborn babies Let's slander newborns. I don't like their lil swoop hairdos.

2.

twitter post about newborn babies They're here to replace us. They want to take our jobs and live in our houses and when we die the little buggers will take all our money.

3.

twitter post about newborn babies For a product that's brand new they're not efficient. 0/10 would not recommend

4.

twitter post about newborn babies They need to learn how to articulate their needs with words instead of all that damn crying. GIF

5.

twitter post about newborn babies stare a lot for someone who cant fight

6.

twitter post about newborn babies Lmaoo newborns in this thread like

7.

twitter post about newborn babies And when they cry... Feed him... Still cries Give him toy... Still cries Hold him... Still cries Can they be clear about what they want... their lives ain't that hard to be crying all the damn time

8.

twitter post about newborn babies Too clingy, which messes up the vibe. Act like they gonna die if you leave them alone for a couple days

9.

twitter post about newborn babies Poor communication skills. As demanding as they are. 4:11 AM 3/24/19 Twitter for iPhone

10.

twitter post about newborn babies They have no respect.l go out my way to make sure I don't wake them up. But when IM sleep, they'll scream bloody murder til wake up

11.

twitter post about newborn babies They never have gas money OMM this the best one!!! They be having to go everywhere and can't even drive!! Doctors, grocery store, daycare, and the grandparents way? like who made you this 07 M3389 336

12.

twitter post about newborn babies they always clapping their hands and no sound comes out. SBURG GIF

13.

twitter post about newborn babies Urgh... Their alarm system needs a lot of upgrade.Are you crying for food? Water? Sleep? You... Wanna get high?! Telll meeee orofe UCAR

14.

twitter post about newborn babies They come and I lose everything, my wife, her tits, the quiet, my money, my space, the walk space, in fact, what don't they take from me, they take my life, and then I become addicted... Yet they be doing like they don't know what they have done to me. I can't deal no more. Lol

15.

twitter post about newborn babies I hate their prominent fragrance especially if you just got em.

16.

twitter post about newborn babies For people who don't do any work, they sure do sleep a lot. We've got bills???!!!

17.

twitter post about newborn babies They don't even speak English. Talking some "goo-goo, gaga" We speak American in this country, Osama! They mumble rapping

18.

twitter post about newborn babies They've got too many rights for someone who did 9 months inside

19.

twitter post about newborn babies Economically speaking, a poor return on investment for 18 years of hard work, and extremely high probability of falling prey to the sunken cost bias due to emotional attachment. 0/10 do not recommend

20.

twitter post about newborn babiesLiquid diet?! Eat a cheeseburger or somethin damn

21.

twitter post about newborn babiesMe liking these responses while I hold my baby

22.

twitter post about newborn babies What's with all the character outfits? CosPlay game be weak AF

23.

twitter post about newborn babies Their victim mentality will get them nowhere! The government should just cut their funding all together. They need to pick themselves up by their own bootstraps like the rest of us!

24.

twitter post about newborn babies when the parent(s) put those big ass flower headbands on the bald headed kid so people will know it's a girl. that baby don't care, all they want is to eat applesauce & to poot in peace.

25.

twitter post about newborn babies This is annoying for a jobless!

26.

twitter post about newborn babies bro they all come out defective. how do you not have object permanence? those blithering idiots

27.

twitter post about newborn babies They too damn attached to someone they don't even know, I just don't see why I need to be under you 24/7

28.

twitter post about newborn babies They stay up all night, but never bring drugs or alcohol...

29.

twitter post about newborn babies They have no hustle or ambition. Steady relying on somebody else.

30.

twitter post about newborn babies They wear a lot of white for people who don't do they own laundry

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