43 Vintage Ads That Didn't Age Well

Clearly we've got a way to go when it comes to social justice and women's rights, but in years past women were held to nearly impossible standards of beauty and etiquette that seems outlandish in today's world. You won't believe how utterly messed up these old-school ads are! 

1.

Vintage advertisement - Dummies dovit perspine ...but neal live qirls need MUM MUM New Mum with M3 kills odor bacteria ..stops odor all day long PROOF! Aaingy effective pectection from csder a perspiranica odceju use eew Mum dailySo sure, so safe for notmal skin Se fee dloches Gentle Mem is cerrited by the Aser lcAD stiouse of Lunering Woat rot or da colee even roar fct fabr No waste, no drying oet. The omy leading deoloraet dat cooains eo water so dey out or decrese is escieny. Delicay fragrant

2.

Clothing - FREE for CHUBBIES Fall and Winter Fashion Book full of charming Chubby-size Clothes Girls' sizes 8%, 10, 12%, 14 % Teen sizes 102, 12/2, 14, 16 It pictures the newest dresses, coats, suits, sweaters, under- things, skirts, blouses for girls and 'teens too chubby to fit into regular sizes (and every- thing is priced the same as "regular sizes". €3 ryant ane

3.

Vintage advertisement - IT'S NO USE! I WON'T SEE HIM Date broken because of bad Skin! Photo specially posed by Miss Alice Way So ashamed of her Poor Complexion she locked herself in her room!

4.

Vintage advertisement - Is it alweys illegal TO KILLA WOMAN? FOR SIX MONTRS 1 bend the ears of the hom office to get a postage meter. I win... Then the good, fast, dependable, honest-to-Gregg stenographe I got, this redhead Morissey-balks at a postage meter "I have no mechanical aptitude. Machines me up, kind of," she says. As if we asked her to a P-80. I almost blow my top. This postage meter, I explain, is medern, mone efficient, a time saver...No more adhesive stamps No stamp box, and who's g

5.

Undergarment - YOU ARE FULLY PROTECTED BY 3 HONEST MONEY BACK GUARANTEES NO STRINGS ATTACHED GUARANTEE NO.1 Fast measurable results in just 3 days. You must be 100% satisfied with the number of pounds and inches that you have lost or send the complete 5-minute Body Beautiful Figure Shaper back for a fast and full refund. BEFORE GUARANTEE NO. 2 The incredible Figure Shaper's 5-minute Body Beautifier is the easiest, safest and most satisfying figure trimmer available. Plus 1 full year warranty on

6.

Vintage advertisement - for a better start in life Start coLA earlier! How soon Is too soon? -Promoes Actie Lifesyle! Not soon enough. Laboratory tests over the last few years have provca that babics who start drinking soda during that Gives hody cenlal carly formative period have a much higher chance of gaining Boosts Personality! acceptance and "fitting in" during those awkward pre-teen and toca ycars. So, do yoursclf a favor. Do yoar child a favor Start them on a strict regimen of sodas and o

7.

The best things in life come in Cellophane "You SEE what you buy-no guosswork." "Foods coze frosh-stay fresh longer- "...and things in Collophano are clean and DU PONT Cellophane loss waste," sanitary." QUPOND HE DETTER THINGS FOR BETTER LIVING...THROUG. Lok at "Cavalcade ef America" on Telaision

8.

Leg - It's nice to have a girl around the house. Though she wasa tger adyour hero dids't hveto fire a ahot to floor her After pne look at his Mr. Legs acks, she w eady to have him watk all over her That noble styling re socthes the savage heart if yourd tan your own doill to doll carpeting. hunt up a pair of these he man Mr. Leas lacks Soch as our new automatic wash wear bend of 65% Dacroa and 35% rayon-incomparably wrinkle resntant About $12.95 t plush-carpeted sores Legis Dacron ef yo NY

9.

Photography - The Chef does everything but cook -that's what wives are for! I'mgiving my wife a enwoo uef

10.

Vintage advertisement - If your husband ever finds out yon're not tore-testing" for fresher coffe.. ...fe derrs ' ill tuking chms getting fnt,stale edfe wabw Fo alay hee's ad etain wy for fedw Chase Sanborn COFFEE t be re of leesher coflee Hare's how sasy "PRESSURE PACKED Chase & Sanborn Jeal de h

11.

Cartoon - "HE DOESN'T KISS ME ANYMORE!" WHY DON'T YOU USE TANGEE? IT'S ORANGE HE SAID MY LIPS WERE TOO RED AND SMEARY IN THE STICK, BUT IT CHANGES LIKE MAGIC TO A LOVELY SHADE OF BLUSH ROSE ON YOUR LIPS SWEETHEART I'VE JUST GOT TO KISS THOSE PRETTY LIPS! THERE IS PAINTED GLARING LIPS MAGIC IN TANGEE wwm TANGEE GLOWING LIPS ATER

12.

Poster - Keep up with the house while you keep down your weight. Don't lose vitality while watching your weight, Live rght eat right. Get vitamins and iron trom TOTAL, Now TOTAL has more vitamins than any ocher cereal A one-ounce bowtful gives you 100% of the minimum daily adult vita min and iron requirements-plus a delicious cninchy taste. total TOTALwatches your vitamins while you watch your weight €3

13.

People - Presenting The Losers We listen to her voice, her speech. We judge her personality, her maturity, her intelligence, her in- tentions, her enthusiasm, her resiliency and her stamina We don't want a stewardess to be impatient with a question you may have, or careless in serv- ing your dinner, or unconcerned about your needs. So we try to eliminate these problems by toking a lot more time and passing up a lot more girls It may make our job a lot harder. But it makes your flying a lot easie

14.

Motor vehicle - The soldiers need our help! Gather 'round, american Women!" TURNS OUT YOU GALS ARE USEFUL AFTER Werth A measage from the Department of Repression Oppression and Chauvinism

15.

Poster - Blow in her face and she'll follow you anywhere. Mit her with tangy Tipalet Cheery. Or rich grapey Tipalet Burgundy.Orsics Tipalet ueberry.It's Wad Tipalet t's new.Dflerent. Delicious in taste and in aroma Apuf in ber direction and she folow you, anywhere. Ohyes..you get smoking satistaction without inhaling smoke Smokers of America, TIPMLET TIPALT TIPALLT ALL doyourself a favor Make your next cigarete a Tipalet: New trem Muriel About 5 fer 25t

16.

Vintage advertisement - THE SATURDAY EVENING POST May 3, 1952 dun She Poesnit Caneb Water will leave almost no wrinkles in her dress, thanks to a new fabric woven of resin-treated cotton fibers that tend to return to their original shape after dousing or crushing. This amazing cloth stays clean longer and wears better. CON CONOCO CONOCO AM 50000 MILES NOWEAR! CONOCO OrEPLATE Super MOTOR O WITH 2.To create this fabric, scientists add to a natural product-cotton-a synthetic that be comes an integr

17.

Advertising - its a wifesaver get q range by BRO equipped with a Soilfree Oven Every year, the chore of cleaning ovens claims the good humor of countless homemakers.not to mention damage to hands, knees, backs, and busy schedules! Brown protects wives from these ill effects by making a Soilfree oven for any budget. A Soilfree oven needs no special wiring, no extreme heat it cleans itself while you bake at normal temperatures Let the wifesaving Soilfree oven save time and energy for better things

18.

Text - She was a "Perfect Wife" ... except for ONE NEGLECT economical. She knew efficient. Her house was always neat, clean, well-run. bow to make a budget behave She was lovely...always took care to look smart and fresh. BUT...She was careless Cor iguoranit) about Feminine HygieneAnd her husband would gladly have traded most of her virtues to correct this one fault. ..cheerful. She never nagged, or moped, or wept. ..affectionate. She was warm hearted and tender.

19.

Hair - 1 hepe shev sraubed frr wat Ki Her 1epe be nwshes y es fenight WOMEN Кеep Your Mimsy Clean A duily wash with new Lax kebab soap (for women) will freshen up your flaps and stop it stinking like an old kipper LUX KEBAB SOAP LUX Ask ycu doctor toaady

20.

Gun - BOYITS KEEN A REAL METAL RAPID FIRING G-BOY REPEATIN CAP PISTOL 95 UN DNLY Boy of ely 81.00 RAPID FIRING LOOKS LIKE A REAL "45" ACTUALLY SMOKES ON FIRING HAS LOUD EXPLOSIVE REPORT It's a real thriller. Yes! Looks and feels like the Automacic 45 Carried by our Army Officer.. It's made of strong lightweight amimum with a plastic Pearl handle. It's easy to reload. Any boy would gladly give his entire allowance for one of these. Genuine Cowhlde Holster for FamousG-Boy" Gun $2 Order Direct... T

21.

Pear - This is no shape for a girl That's why Warner's makes the Concentrate girdle and the Little Fibber bra. We reshape your top with the Little Fibber bra. The super-soft fiberfill lining doesn't make a big production out of you. It rounds out your bosom just enough to go with your trimmed-down hips. Girls with too much bottom and too little top: Warner's can reshape you We reshape you on the bottom with the Con centrate girdle: Its all-around panels do more for you than a little girdle (they

22.

Cartoon - A WIFE CAN BLAME HERSELF IF SHE LOSES LOVE BY GETTING 'MIDDLE-AGE SKIN! YOU MEAN IT GROWN SO ORY AND LIFELESS! IKNOW IT MOTHER, BUT WHAT CAN 0o? AND, MOTHEA, NE NEVER TAKES ME OUT ANY MORE! SOMETIMES ITHINK HE'SASHAMED OF ME MAYBE YOU RE USING THE WRONS SOAP! WHY DONT YOU CHANGE TO PALMOLIVE? DO YOU THINK IT COULD BE YOUR COMPLEXION, NELL? YOU USED TO HAVE SUCH A LOVELY SKIN AND NOW... SHE LEARNED HER LESSON YOU SEE. PALMOLIVE 1S MADE WITH OLIVE AND PALM OLS, NATORES FINEST BEAUTY AIDS

23.

Comics - IF MEN HATE THE SIGHT OF YOU READ THIS LET'S BEAT IT HERE COMES THAT SKINNY DAME MEN HATE THE SIGHT OF ME,I'M SO SKINNY. I'M GOING TO TRY IRONIZED YEAST YOU'RE GORGEOUS SINCE YOU'VE GAINED WEIGHT ! A FEW WEEKS LATER 3 THOUSANDS OF SKINNY GIRLS GAIN 10 To 20 LBS.-QUICK!

24.

Vintage advertisement - CURVES OF YOUTH will be yours if you will "Pull the Cords" Gives the Flesh the Resiliency and Freshness of Youth Prevents Double Chins Effaces Double Chins PROF MACK'S Chin Reducer Reduces Enlarged Glands and Beautifier The only mechanism producing a concentrated. continuoms masssge of the chin and neck, dispelling labliness of the neck and throat, restoring a rounded contour to thin crawny necks and faces, bringing a natural healthy color to the cheeks, effacing lines an

25.

Cartoon - JOAN'S SO CARELESS THIS HOT WEATHER! WEARS US DAYS WITHOUT LUXING! WE ABSORB PERSPIRATION ODOR ALL DAY LONG. PEOPLE NOTICE IT AVOID HER

26.

Newspaper - Married? No reason to neglect S S.A. ISTOCKING APPEAL Husbands admire wives who keep their stockings perfect Lovely stockings add so much to your appearance . to your husband's pride in you. Don't let constant runs, snaky seams and wrinkles kill S.A. SAVES ELASTICITY-You can cut down on costly runs-keep stockings lovely looking with Lux It saves elasticity, so threads can give without breaking, then spring back into shape. Cake-soap rubbing and soaps with harmful alkali weaken elasti

27.

Newsprint - |Don't Stay Too Fat! COMFORT, health and fashion demand right physical proportions. You can reduce the flesh on your entire body. or any part, by wearing one of Dr. Jeanne Walter s famous rubber garments for men and women a few hours a day The safe and quick way to reduce is by perspiration. En- dorsed by eading physicians. Frown Eradicator.. $2.00 Chin Reducer Neck and Chin Reducer 3.00 Bust Reducer Abdominal Reducer 2.00 5.00 6.00 Also Union Suits, Stockings, Jackets, etc., for the

28.

Cartoon - Such little things can irk a man Sh-h-h..she has "GAP-OSIS" Sac's a girl in a millior! Prettyand smart, Dances divinely. Can even cook. But she's rnining her chances lby having "ga-osis"- a placke: that pops. Quiek! Somebody tell her bout the neat litle Ta on fastener!

29.

Text - Romance dies at the touch of DISHPAN HANDS RIDES NOWADAYS say they want to keep romance, so they are not going to risk dishpan hands. Why have them when washing dishes with Lux is like giving your hands a beauty treat- ment right in the dishpan? Lux has no harmful alkali, as harsh soaps have, to parch and dry the skin. And it costs less than 1e a day FOR ALL YOUR DISHES WASH DISHES? YES BUT ILL NOT RUB OFF HONEYMOON BLOOM BY HAVING DISHPAN MAYBE MEN RESPECT HANDS. I'LL USE LUX! THEM-BUT,B

30.

Comics - SHAME ON YOU DICK! YOU'RE SIMPLY STARING AT BETH. WELL-IDO LIKE THE WAY SHE SMILES TEETH L SMOW HIM SO NOW YOU LIKE MY TEETH EH WELL YOURS ARE DULL WHITE AND UNATTRACTIVE,JUST AS MINE WERE YOU'VE GOT UNSEEN DEPOSITS ASI HAD sO THIS TIME IT'S HER SMILE YOU ADMIRE! DR BAIR DENTIST WHY NOT? SHE HAS THE WHITEST TEETH 1 EVER SAW LISTEN! DR.BAIRD EXPLAINED IT.YOU'RE STILL USING THAT OLD-FASHIONED, SLOW CLEANSING TOOTH PASTE DARLING, YOU'VE THE LOVELIEST WHITEST TEETH IN THE WORLD AND PVE JUST

31.

Vintage advertisement - what a SOURBALL I married! be your own fault," he said. "A wife's one neglect-carelessness about feminine hy giene-can very often ruin even the hap- piest marriage." Then he advised Lysol used by so many modern wives. "He has no reason to shout at me so!" Jane kept telling herself. But there was a deep, hidden reason for Bill's sharp words! Something he hinted one day. Puzzled, Jane rushed to her doctor's. "Yes, it could Noncy! correction... he's a

32.

Vintage advertisement - HEAVENS,MARY! DO YOU CALL THIS A SALAD? WHY IT'S MORE LIKE A DESSERT "SISSY-SWEET" SALADS! MEN HATE IT'S SWEET! DIDNT YOU KNOW? YOU CANT GOOD GIRL, MARY. THIS IS A REAL SALAD. NO "SISSY-SWEET AFFAIR. IT'S GOT ZIP! MAKE A REAL HE-MAN SALAD WITH GELATINE DESSERT POWDERS THEY'RE 85% SUGAR. I'LL GIVE YOU A GRAND KNOX GELATINE RECIPE Men want a salad that's fresh and tart-not sweet. So-don't use gela- tine dessert powders. They're 85% sugar. Use pure, unsweetened Knox Gelatine

33.

Comics - NO APOLOGIES ACCEPTED TIME OF MONTH? NONSENSE! STOP BY THE DRUG STORE FOR SOME MIDOL AND SNAP OUT OF IT ! HAS BESS LET US DOWN AGAIN? LL GO PHONE HER WHAT I THINK OH LUCILLE!I COULD HARDLY WAIT TO TELL YOU. I'VE BEEN ABSOLUTELY COMFORTABLE THE WHOLE EVENING. THANKS HEAPS! LADIES EXCUSED NOW WHILE THEY RUSTLE REFRESHMENTS NOW'S YOUR CHANCE, BESS! YOU'VE BEEN DYING TO TELL LUCILLE SOMETHING I KNOW I WAS SUNK REGULARLY UNTIL LEARNED OF MIDOL

34.

Vintage advertisement - YIPES! COULDI USE A BELLY- FLATTENER! BOY! THIS SURE TAKES ME IN! BEFORE AFTER Protruding stomach pushed back in Pront level. Waist line evened out, tucked away. Pot belly pieked up. Clothes fit swell. Also ideal under slacks, play shorts and swim trunks Complete with detachable garters Sagging muscles, INTERLOCKING HANDS bumps and bulges. Clothes looked 'awful. Nothing seemed to ft right Couldn't wear any of the new styles. OF FIRM SUPPORT Test h yeu teel weraring the BE

35.

Text - Unloved! HE-"That lady has a mustache!" SHE"How embarrassing!" HE"Why doesn't she shave?" SHE " know a better way to treat that case-listen-I'l1 tell you a secret-for some years I had a difficult problem of ugly, superfluous hair on face and limbs. I was dis- couraged-unloved. Tried many different prod- ucts, but nothing was really satisfactory Then I developed a simple, painless, inex pensive method-It worked, and brought me happiness." I have helped thousands seeking a more pleas- ing a

36.

Text - NowyouCAN REDUCE aBulgingCHEST-LINE New Discovery Slenderizes Oversize Bust-Takes Off One To Three Inches JS YOUR figure marred by a heavy, sagging bust? bulge make you self-conscious and ill at ease? Now you can reduce an oversize bust. You can take inches off your chest-line and remould your form to trim, rounded shapeliness FORMULA-X treatment is made expressly to correct this unsightly figure fault. All you have to do is ap- ply Formula-X compound, follow the easy, pleasant instructio

37.

Text - WAS THIS ENGAGEMENT TO BE BROKEN, TOO? This i TRUE B. JESSIE WAS A TERRIBLY ATTRACTIVE GIRL (THE LETTER BEGINS). SEVERAL TIMES SHE WAS ENGAGED TO PROMISING YOUNG MEN. BUT HER I ASKED HER MOST RECENT FIANCE, TOM,WHAT WAS WRONG. JESSIE HAS EVERYTHING TO BE DESIRED IN A WOMAN, EXCEPT JUST ONE THING HE SAID, ANDI CANT TALK TO HER ABOUT THAT ROMANCES HAD SHORT LIVES "B.O." IS TREACHEROUS! Thousands of letters prove it THOUSANDS of letters in our files are testimony that "B.O." (body odor) is t

38.

Photograph - Does Your Husband Look Youngor than You do?

39.

Vintage advertisement - You are in a BEAUTY CONTEST every hour of every day! CAKE of Camay Soap-and you have the finest beauty treatment in the world Buy a dozen cakes-today-and watch this gentle soap bring out the natural beauty of your skin. With Camay your skin will glow with new, deep cleanliness! A Natural loveliness begins with immaculate cleanliness. But be sure you use only the most delicate, the safest, of beauty soaps on your precious skin! CAMAY CAMAY CAMAY CAMAY The girl above is mee

40.

Vintage advertisement - THAT SINCE JANE LEARNED "MIDDLE-AGE" SKIN THREATENS EVEN A GIRL OF 20 JANE CONSULTS EMIL, FAMOUS CHICAGO BEAUTY SPECIALIST EVERYTHING WAS SWELL BETWEEN TOM AND ME,UNTIL THAT HATEFUL BABS BROWN CAME ALONG AND DAZ- ZLED HIM WITH HER SCHOOL GIRL COMPLEXION DARLING,WHY DON'T YOU SEE A GOOD BEAUTY SPECIALIST, AND FIND OUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR COMPLEXION ? YOU'RE NO OLDER THAN BABS EVEN THOUGH YOURE ONLY 20 YOUR COMPLEXION HAS THE SYMPTOMS OF WHAT CALL "MIDDLE-AGE SKIN ITS TO

41.

Text - Gray Hair Cost Her Her Job! She was wiing and capable, but gray hair made her look old and slow. "A younger woman would work more snappily," was the verdict Gray hair does make a person look old, but gray hair is an un necessary burden. Today, many women and men-know that a mixture of sage tea and sulphur actually restores gray, faded or streaked hair to its original life and color. You can cither prepare the mixture at home your self, or more conveniently, buy it already prepared and rea

42.

Games - MY HUSBAND ALMOST HAD A FIT ABOUT MY RED HANDS! says MRS. MARION FREDERICK wife of Army Air Corps Lieutenant "Here's the way they looked after using a well-known dishwashing soap-awful

43.

Comics - IF SHE'S COMING OVER -IM GOING OUT! WHATS THE MATTER WITH M LATELY, DOT? RAY3 NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO ACTS AS IFI HAD SAD BREATH OR SOMETHING! MOST BAD BAEATH COMES FROM DECAYING FOO0 DEPOSITS IN HIDDEN CREVICES BETWEEN TEETH THAT ARENT CLEANED PROPERLY IADVISE COLGATE DENTAL CREAM.ITS SPECIAL PENETRATING FOAM REMOVES THESE 000R-BAEEDING DEPOSITS BUT YOU PROMISED TO TEACH JEAN THAT NEW DANCE STER THATS WHY SHES COMING! THAT WAS BEFORE KNEW SHE DIDNT READ THE TOOTHPASTE ADS! SAY, WHY NOT TA

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