45 'Never Again' Tales Ranging From Silly To Very Serious

We've all got our fair share of "never again" moments. Some might be related to debauchery, for example, swearing off tequila after an unfortunate binge-drinking episode back in college. Some may involve moments of staggering stupidity. Other "never agains" might be a little more serious, like refusing to work in a restaurant or in retail. This r/AskReddit thread covers all of those bases and more, with plenty of "facepalm" moments to keep things light. 

1.

Text - What's one thing that made you say "never fucking again"? And why?

2.

Text - Feltch_McAvity • 8h 314 Awards Attempting to catch my dogs shit in the bag rather than picking it up from the ground. Seemed like a good idea. Dog sharted up my arm. Had a long walk back home through my neighborhood covered in shit. Never again.

3.

Text - Purchased a bag of 150 mint mentos as a study snack. Got stuck into an assignment and somehow ate the entire bag over a twelve hour period. Next day my partner and I walked our dogs down to a cafe. Stomach becomes sore while we drink our coffee. I look to the toilet but it's a busy cafe with a single toilet. Figure l'll just wait to do my business back home (about a half hour walk away). As we start walking back I begin to sweat. Cramps become unbearable. Give my partner the dog lead and

4.

Text - Maskedude1 • 14h 5 Awards Yesterday I was in a hurry and not being very safe and put a 1/4" drill bit through my hand. Could have been 100% avoided by taking even the slightest of safety precautions but I was frustrated and rushing to finish. Never again will I not take the simple moment to do it correctly. Reply 17.8k ...

5.

Text - tomorrowistomato • 15h 3 Awards Getting an endometrial biopsy. Worst pain of my life. If I ever get cancer they can just take the whole damn uterus out, l'm not going through that again without anesthesia. Reply 18.5k •..

6.

Text - The_Clearview_Cowboy • 14h O 日222 Awards Alcohol and Cocaine. Almost ruined my life. Started drinking at 16, started doing coke at 26, and took till I was damn near 41 to quit. Dumped my last baggie of blow out beside my garage 23 years ago and haven't touched the shit since. Reply 15.6k ...

7.

Text - International-Sun352 • 12h E 2e3 13 Awards Making friends with people because you feel bad for them. Be nice but no more than that is required. Pity is no reason to start a friendship and it never turns out well, neither for them nor for you. Reply 15.0k ...

8.

Text - destructor1106 • 14h amniocentesis, having a giant needle stuck through my pregnant belly and being dug around to get a sample triggered my fight/flight and I was sweating so much from the intensity. I didn't watch while they did it but my mother in law was there and started crying while they were digging around. She held my hand, looked at me with tears in her eyes and tried to calmly say "it's okay, you're okay". I still have nightmares about it 1O years later. Reply 6.0k ...

9.

Text - Handsome-Jim • 14h 1 Award I had my gallbladder removed after a gallstone. I thought I was having a heart attack and called an ambulance. While I waited I started arrange all of my finances for my wife. The hospital ran a zillion tests, told me it was a gallstone, and the only real solution was to remove the whole gallbladder if it came back. If it came back? Yup. Fuck that shut. I told the doctor I would never go through that pain again and he could schedule me for surgery then and there

10.

Text - HubbaBubbaly • 13h 13 Awards My ex. We were giving long distance a shot, it was an on and off relationship for like 3 years. I traveled 18hrs to see him only to find out he had been cheating on me and no one from his circle even knew I existed. I cried for a straight 18hr bus ride back home. Never fucking again. Reply 18.7k •..

11.

Text - Shyruk • 14h Driving through an intersection immediately upon my light changing to green. Some asshole ran a red one day and almost t-boned me on the driver's side. Never again. I always wait for a few seconds before I start driving through an intersection, longer if there is a blind corner. Reply 7.3k •..

12.

Text - Dragontre • 14h 8 Awards Living with a couple. Roommates suck in general but a 3 times in my life I split an apartment with a couple and it was awkward at best, and truly miserable when they fought. A Reply 25.0k ...

13.

Text - fingertoes88 • 12h 1 Award Law school. I applied and got in because my parents thought I would be a good fit. I stuck out the first year because I was heavily influenced into thinking my career paths only included law, engineering or medicine. After the first year I was miserable and depressed, dropped out and now I'm doing something that l'm passionate about and is less saturated than law. My dad is still trying to convince me to pursue a JD. Reply 176 ...

14.

Text - Klown1327 · 14h 3 5 Awards When I was like, 11 I had some friends (the kids that lived next door) over and we were just hanging out, playing video games all night. My mom ordered Papa John's for us. We tore the pizza up like the ravenous savages we were and continued gaming. That night the boy stayed over while his sisters and little brother went back home. We go to bed that night and at some point one of us (cant remember who) began to throw up, which woke the other one up. My mom rushes

15.

Text - macabrejaguar • 14h 4 Awards Peppermint essential oil. Why? My darling spouse read online you could use it on lady bits to provide a tingling sensation. Decided to do so to me. DIDN'T read the bit about majorly diluting it first. The result? The sensation of 1,000 fire ants biting my most intimate parts while simultaneously being submerged in lava. And since it's an oil, washing it off did jack shit. I sobbed in a half full bath tub whilst rubbing my cooch with a towel doused in vegetable

16.

Text - Upstairs_Cow • 15h A2 3 15 Awards Meth. I was a hardcore amphetamine pill addict and said "fuck it" one night and smoked a shitload of meth. I was up for two or three days, by the last day I was well into psychosis and left town. Stayed in a hotel room for a few days to make sure I didn't become a meth addict and to evaluate what the fuck I was doing with my life. I didn't stop the pills immediately but l'm never fucking doing meth again. * Reply 22.0k ...

17.

Text - Steveslastventure • 15h 2 Awards Working retail. I think it's something every young person should do...once. People suck, especially with our bullshit culture of "the customer is alway right" Reply 1 9.2k + ...

18.

Text - asliceofchristmaspam • 12h Go on an overseas tour with a close friend. Always do a mini trip or spend a weekend with them exploring a new place to test the waters. I went on an overseas trip with someone who was constantly late, couldn't pay for anything, didn't want to do any of the activities we had planned, sulked around...the list goes on. We had completely different travel styles. She wanted to sleep in...l wanted to organise things, be on time and plan ahead. Basically our travel st

19.

Text - GeebusNZ • 13h 3 Awards Extending an olive branch to my father (to make peace with him). As a child, he didn't want to know me. But I knew even then that the time would come when I would be an adult and he would want to get to know me. I tried repeatedly as I was growing to find common ground, stability, fucking anything with him. Nah. I tried adopting his interests, talking to him about things he gave a shit about. Nah. I tried involving him with things I was passionate about. Nah. Well,

20.

Text - Dumpsterfire_in_july • 14h Open up my home to help someone. She ended up being a manipulative miserable cuss of a person who made my and my children's lives miserable. My husband (now ex) refused to see beyond her vagina and ignored his own kids pleas for help. Kids and I moved out and he's now miserable and alone with no relationship with his kids. Cunt left him at the first sign of his financial troubles. Reply 4.6k ...

21.

Text - Rainnv7 • 14h 1 Award Working at McDonald's, no need to elaborate Reply 2.5k ...

22.

Text - orion_sunrider • 15h 5 Awards Debating on the internet. Too many people think of like a competition you can win with a snappy comeback. Too many people forget they're talking to actual people and actually try to see their side of things Now instead I try to rationalize my position and see their side. The only problem is I still end up arguing with people who are just there to mock me or to make snappy comebacks Reply 12.1k ...

23.

Text - liluziGOAT • 15h Doing cocaine for 8 straight hours. The comedown was quite possibly the most hellish experience of my life Reply 1 2.3k ...

24.

Text - TheGreatAgnostic • 11h Sky diving. I did my first and only jump free fall with 2 instructors at the same time at 9k feet (I.e. no static line or tandem). In hindsight, not the best or safest idea. I had bungee jumped multiple times before so I figured l'd handle it correctly. Well..it was an interesting day but the part that got me was after the instructors caught up to me and stabilized me, I was reaching for the cord but couldn't seem to find it. That's when I realized that I could very

25.

Text - Sergio7746 • 15h 1 Award Ate a whole bag of cooked Chinese peanuts oh my sh*t was i stuck on the shitter for hours on end and i couldnt leave the house without risking shitting myself Reply 1.9k ...

26.

Text - LittleBugWoman • 14h Having an IUD put in. Fucking blindsided by the pain. Edit: I can't reply to you all, but I'm so sorry so many of us have had such a horrible experience with this. We deserve better, more empathetic doctors who take our pain seriously. Reply 1.5k ...

27.

Text - booksoverppl • 14h Getting back together with an ex. If it didn't work out the first time, it's likely that it won't the second time either. Especially if that person/ relationship was toxic to begin with. Reply 3.3k

28.

Text - eemajor99 • 13h 3 1 Award Getting romantically involved with a co-worker Edit: The "why" M(50ish). I'm a slow learner. Took three times. Seeing her all day long and l'm the type of person who appreciates/needs me time. At larger companies maybe not as big an issue. Hats off to all those who have made it work. Reply 2.2k ...

29.

Text - sailorraln • 14h 5 Awards College class at 8 AM as a night owl. Edit: Wow this blew up. RIP my notifications. THE AWARDS ARE APPRECIATED! Thank you. Also, while a majority agrees with me, a few have said "wait til you get a job" etc. I worked as a salaried manager while in college. I was required to work a minimum of 48 hours, so I did that while full time in school. Plus homework, exams, rehearsals, performances, etc. That's why I said "never again" I entered the workforce at 14, and wor

30.

Text - Varvatos_Vex • 14h Drinking and driving. Thought I was fine to drive home. I got on the free way. Went to go over one lane. Next thing I realize l've gone over 4 lanes and am about to hit the cement barrier. Scared me enough to never do it again. Reply 1 1.9k ...

31.

Text - DownBeat20 • 12h 1 Award Just in the last couple days for me actually. Was trying to unclog earwax with a q-tip like an idiot and now lI'm waiting on a doctors appointment to address the terrible tinnitus I have developed. Praying it's impacted ear wax and not a perforated drum. I will never put any hard object in my ear again. The tinnitus is MADDENING. I have cried so much! Reply 529 ...

32.

Text - WannaBeKurtCobain • 13h Drinking a large black coffee with 5 shots of espresso from Starbucks, while on my adderall prescription and an empty stomach. About half way through the cup I had a panic attack in physics class. Luckily, I kept my cool and let it wash over me. That was the only time l've had a panic attack (sober). Reply 988 ...

33.

Text - MoonChaser22 • 14h Jagerbombs. Something about Jager makes me violently ill. Being stone cold sober, puking your guts up in the nightclub toilets is not a good way to start the night, especially when security thinks you're drunk and are considering kicking you out. Reply 932 ...

34.

Text - reddituser20-08•9h 2 Awards Believing words over behavioural patterns. I have been present for the kind of people who only take from you and then they forget. But they sweet talk you into believing otherwise. It's baffling how I have been conned by so many of these people who seem to appear "nice". Reply 547 ...

35.

Text - mufasa526 • 15h Planet Fitness. They wanted me to come into the gym with COVID in order to cancel. The only other option was to send a certified letter which I would have had to walk into a post office in order to send, which was equally bad. Never fucking again, I'm buying a treadmill and weight set. Reply + 2.2k

36.

Text - lazyeyelefty88• 9h 1 Award Lying to my friends & family about what I'm feeling. For the majority of my life since I was 10 I have contemplated suicide and had several failed attempts. Became a hard alcoholic & reached rock bottom at the age of 30. Made another attempt with pills and booze and was convinced this time was the last. Woke up to my childhood best friend alternating between pulling my head over a toilet while gagging and him dunking my head in cold water in the tub. 3 years of

37.

Text - Belokure • 15h 1 Award Introducing a friend to another one. Have fun being third wheeled. Reply 4.8k

38.

Text - michaelpaoli • 15h What: speed dating Why: Took me weeks to recover from that horrible experience Reply 688 ...

39.

Text - crusty_cum-sock 14h One time when I was young and stupid (now l'm middle-aged and stupid) I was trying to impress a girl, but in a really dumbass way. I guess I wanted to show of my "constitution" so lined up 8 double-shots of liquor and to try and impress her I took every shot within a minute or less. I thought I could handle it, but I was super skinny at the time and had just downed 16 fucking shots of liquor. About 3-5 minutes later I felt like complete garbage and I was hurling all ov

40.

Text - CaffeineJunkee • 14h Cheap Hotels. I stayed at a hotel that seemed nice online at a decent rate but when I got there it was a shit hole. Walls were a weird yellow color, bathroom was disgusting, clerk was some nasty woman stuffing her face with fast food, sketchy people everywhere smoking. The room had its fire alarm missing and the hole stuffed with paper. The wall outlet covers were broken and had exposed outlets. From that point on I vowed to spend whatever it took to make sure I staye

41.

Text - Cheetodude625 • 14h Yeah...never buying weed again after wasting nearly $500 a month on weed during 5 years of university. -$500 on average per month. 12 months x $500 = $6,000 --> $6000 x 5 years $30, 000 I wasted on weed when I could've been a smart person and saved that money in order to pay off some of my student loan debt. *Note: this does not account for the thousands of dollars wasted on beer and liquor per month of those 5 years in university. If factored in and accounted for on a

42.

Text - 4tehlulz • 12h My whole family decided "never fucking again" after my Dad convinced us all to attend a charity performance of the musical "Lilac Time" I bet you've never heard of it. I hadn't heard of it before I went. Don't bother looking it up, it's shit. Not only was it a shit musical, the only trained singer in the whole cast was the leading lady. The leading man couldn't hold a tune to save his life and was so bad that during one song he pulled the leading lady off key for two whole

43.

Text - ev52986 • 11h What: Not having a savings account. Why: The stress from not having any money to pay rent, and the embarrassment I went through asking people to borrow money when just a few weeks before I was living large. I was young and dumb, much better with my finances now! Reply 99

44.

Text - amanfromindia • 15h Buying food in the airport. The regret. Fuck. Never again. So overpriced. I know its justified but damn a 400 percent value increase. I'm gtfo of there. Reply 216 ...

45.

Text - veggie_lauren • 9h Pulling 3 feet of gauze out of my husband's butt wound after his surgery. So disgusting. Reply 36 ...

46.

Text - mini_trost • 13h Boiled pizza rolls. No other explanation needed... Reply 68 ...

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