Fresh & Funny Musings From The Wordsmiths Of Twitter

Happy Monday, y'all! We're back with fresh and (sometimes) clever tweets that were shared on Ye Olde Bird App this past week. While it kind of feels like politics have calmed down a bit since Joe Biden's inauguration, we still think it's worth avoiding Twitter. So we've put together this gallery of weird, funny and relatable tweets from some of our favorite accounts. It's not much, but it's honest work. 

1.

Font - martin ... @unsolvedtwt internet friends are so weird because like i know ur deepest trauma but i've never seen ur legs 2:50 AM · 2021-01-21 · Twitter for iPhone 39.7K Retweets 4,617 Quote Tweets 252K Likes

2.

Organism - dan @Dansplainer the sopranos is so cool i wish italians were real 11:51 PM · 2021-01-22 · Twitter Web App 8,280 Retweets 282 Quote Tweets 87.5K Likes

3.

Organism - Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien After Covid, people with soul patches should still have to wear a mask. 4:14 PM · 2021-01-22 · Buffer 317 Retweets 20 Quote Tweets 4,235 Likes

4.

Smile - Heaux Pro Boner @alice_x_daniels What if the "D" in "IDGAF" has really stood for "Do" this whole time 8:29 PM · 2021-01-22 · Twitter for iPhone 36 Retweets 1 Quote Tweet 104 Likes

5.

Organism - Susan Orlean @susanorlean Lots to worry about but especially the return of wide-leg jeans 10:01 PM · 2021-01-22 · Twitter for iPhone 67 Retweets 15 Quote Tweets 1,376 Likes

6.

Black - Cali Kev @1DOPEKEV What's joe bidens plan to stop these fake calls about my cars extended warranty? 1:45 PM · 2021-01-21 · Twitter for iPhone 102K Retweets 6,249 Quote Tweets 553K Likes

7.

Mammal - Nathan (New Video!) ... @Humanstein The Simpsons doesn't predict anything we just haven't fixed any of America's problems since 1989. 12:19 PM · 2021-01-21 · Twitter for Android 64.3K Retweets 1,404 Quote Tweets 521K Likes

8.

Mammal - Troy Johnson O @_troyjohnson Just a couple more weeks until mom sends me a text asking if l've seen these funny photos of Bernie Sanders. 6:04 PM · 2021-01-22 · Twitter Web App 201 Retweets 9 Quote Tweets 1,387 Likes

9.

Organism - Daphne Strasert (she/her) @daphnethewriter CDC: Wear a mask! Social Distance! Get the vaccine! Me: absolutely! CDC: don't eat raw cookie dough Me: l'll see you in hell 8:57 PM · 2021-01-17 · Twitter for iPhone 19.7K Retweets 638 Quote Tweets 158K Likes

10.

Organism - Tyler of the Hill @_stylr ... Yeah, I'm antifa. I'm also anti do, re, mi, so, la, ti, and do again for good measure. 2:50 PM · 2021-01-09 · Twitter for Android 170 Retweets 6 Quote Tweets 529 Likes

11.

Font - slate @PleaseBeGneiss me choosing a ringtone at 15: i hope my crush hears this and asks me who the band is and then we share earbuds listening to the album me choosing a ringtone now: vibrate is too loud 1:26 PM · 2021-01-23 · Twitter for iPhone 46 Retweets 2 Quote Tweets 477 Likes

12.

Dog - Innanetboyy @innanetboyy •.. *5 mins after getting kidnapped* "So what made you choose me ?" 7:46 PM · 2021-01-21 · Twitter Web App 116K Retweets 5,389 Quote Tweets 61ZK Likes

13.

World - EJ @EJhavingfun I love when girls wear those long coats down to their knees. Ur so crazy girlie that's a comforter. I love u 2:29 PM · 2021-01-21 · Twitter for iPhone 15K Retweets 1,537 Quote Tweets 260K Likes

14.

World - EJ ... @EJhavingfun Yesss 6pm! Time to start wanting dinner but only having the energy for a super weird snack 6:59 PM · 2021-01-18 · Twitter Web App 60 Retweets 4 Quote Tweets 1,133 Likes

15.

World - Кey. @keywilliamss So apparently my two year old nephew has been walking up to crying kids at his school and saying "use your words," when they're throwing a tantrum 11:50 PM · 2021-01-22 · Twitter for iPhone 7,370 Retweets 1,070 Quote Tweets 69.ZK Likes

16.

Organism - Peter Mor*n (tweet daddy esq.) @lmpetermoran Hey what's an easy meal to make when you haven't seen the sunlight in 10 months and the person you used to be is buried in the garden of your past? 11:50 AM · 2021-01-23 · Twitter for iPhone 52 Retweets 4 Quote Tweets 334 Likes

17.

Atmosphere - the perc prophet @humidfluid how aliens see earth when attacking 1:43 PM · 2021-01-23 · Twitter for iPhone 47 Retweets 1 Quote Tweet 318 Likes

18.

Font - Shower Thoughts @TheWeirdWorld Some people are not an early bird or a night owl. They are just permanently exhausted pigeon. 4:06 PM · 2021-01-23 · Buffer 342 Retweets 50 Quote Tweets 1,481 Likes

19.

Font - Sarah J ... @Trisarahjtops Teenage triceratops with braces on her horns to straighten them 1:59 AM · 2021-01-23 · Twitter Web App 31 Retweets 116 Likes

20.

Organism - Emma @emmalangevinxo determined to have my first paranormal experience this year. ghosts, aliens, ghouls, poltergeists, etc hmu. serious inquiries only. 3:59 PM · 2021-01-23 · Twitter for iPhone 25 Retweets 4 Quote Tweets 1,075 Likes

21.

Organism - hype172450629038 @TheHyyyyуре becca: *fries beans* rebecca: *refries beans* 1:15 PM · 2021-01-21 · Twitter for Android 1,775 Retweets 65 Quote Tweets 17K Likes

22.

World - jon drake @DrakeGatsby Restaurants close Restaurants open for delivery and takeout - Restaurants offer outdoor dining Restaurants offer private heated dining pods - Make the pods bigger to fit more customers - Ah fuck we just invented restaurants again 6:12 PM · 2021-01-22 · Twitter for iPhone 532 Retweets 10 Quote Tweets 5,910 Likes

23.

Organism - thomas @perfectsweeties music elitists are so funny to me. how can song be bad if it make foot go tap tap 1:31 PM · 2021-01-16 · Twitter for Android 936 Retweets 20 Quote Tweets 9,258 Likes

24.

Organism - thomas ... @perfectsweeties cant imagine how furious all clown fish are. everytime we see them we're like look it's Nemo and they just have to clench their little fins and swim away like "my name is fuckin Steven" 6:09 PM · 2021-01-12 · Twitter for Android 3,275 Retweets 52 Quote Tweets 23.3K Likes

25.

Font - anna @anna_online does anyone want to be in love so we can split rent 7:45 PM · 2021-01-23 · Twitter for iPhone 211 Retweets 17 Quote Tweets 1,538 Likes

26.

Organism - p.e. moskowitz (happy thriving good) @_pem_pem ... quarantine feeling very 8th grade -- having 47 online conversations with friends all at once until its time for dinner lol 7:04 PM · 2021-01-22 · Twitter Web App 281 Retweets 14 Quote Tweets 3,370 Likes

27.

Nose - Dr. Jacqueline Antonovich @jackiantonovich My kind of news day: "Geologist Finds Rare Formation Inside Rock That Looks Exactly Like Cookie Monster on Sesame Street" 2:57 PM · 2021-01-23 · Twitter Web App 26.5K Retweets 2,172 Quote Tweets 162K Likes

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