Outrageous Social Media Anecdotes That Are Hard To Believe

The thing about being online is that you can be whoever you want to be and say anything your cute little imagination conjures up. However, there are consequences to blatantly lying, like getting publicly called out by people who do a bit of research, or ending up on subreddit like r/thathappened. Sometimes the highly sus anecdotes that people spew all over social media are not totally implausible, but they still have that air of cringiness about them that just screams 'fake.' We've got a bunch of examples of absurd stories that may or may not be total bullsh*t. 

1.

Yellow - Walking through Walmart past the Valentine's day stuff. I over hear some girls complaining they want someone to buy them chocolate. As I walk past one goes "mmmmm him and his tattoos can buy me chocolate" to which I casually replied "my wife gets chocolates, roses, pretzels and last Valentine's day I gave her a baby". Needless to say she apologized profusely and I heard her friends | teasing her uke whole time I walked away

2.

Eyebrow - If you encounter wine snobs, confuse them by using this move so i told my mom about this post before she and my dad went on a trip to napa, and she was delighted to try this out and apparently, when she straight-faced, lifted her glass of chardonnay to her ear and swirled it, she baffled the other winery-goers so much that they all instinctively did exactly the same thing. that sort of crowd-think, that you aren't quite sure what's right but you'll be damned if you're mistaken for the

3.

Text - •.. STORY TIME!!! so today I was in Starbucks and gave my name as "Hermione Granger" and then when they called my drink a handsome boy was staring at me and when I was abt to ask him why he was staring at me they called his drink under the name "Draco Malfoy" and then he walked by me and said MUDBLOOD and then gave me his number and winked and the barista started crying and said "10 points to gryffindor..and slytherin!" and gave us both free pastries e

4.

Text - THE BEATLES 12h My 3 year old son was wearing a Beatles shirt at a playgroup. When another mom came up and asked condescendingly, "do you even know who the Beatles are?" He replied, "uh, yeah, John Lennon, George Harrison, Ringo Star and Paul McCartney." Zing! 1K 132 Comments

5.

Nature - I was out shopping with my two children (both unvaccinated) and I overheard a conversation between two couples about how "foolish" anti-vaxxers are. I immediately turned around and joined in by informing them that vaccines are proven to cause autism, cancer and increase the risk of homosexuality and that they need to understand what the big pharma companies want; money. They didn't listen and eventually grew aggressive and they threatened to call security if I didn't leave them alone. M

6.

Text - 5 July at 22:23 · O A woman stopped me today to tell me I am her husband's dream girl because I drove up blasting Thunderstuck and wearing a dress. I laughed as he looked at her in disbelief that she said that.

7.

Text - Comments 16 Honestly I blame Sam 凸9 caks ago I screamed at demetri when he took down hawk LMAOAO 凸8 中 ...... 3 weeks ago S That happened to me when me and d my brother was fighting because we both know karate and I fell off a 4 story window because me and my brother was fighting over a girl we were like miguel and Robby my brother did a flying kick to my chest then broke my back and neck I almost died luckily I survived 回2 ... ... ... 10OL WES

8.

Text - ... I know karate. When I was a senior in highschool, alot of people were getting robbed after school buy gangmembers. Finally they tried it with me once. It was 2 guys, 1 had a gun. He said 'give me ur money essay'. I said 'are u sure this is a direction u want to go?" they started cussing. I then took the gun with 1 move, did a roundhouse kick to the other guys face knocking him down and a drop kick to the first guys nuts. I said 'u still want my money essay?" 1 guy was crying, they bot

9.

Text - My physique is all the weaponry I need. I work out hard every day and have been for years. The other day some young guy is in my backyard trying to steal my wheelbarrow. I stepped outside with no shirt on, just stood there and stared at him. He simply slowly backed away to the gate looking at me in pure terror and left. I moved to the gate and watched as he ran as fast as he could down the street. My "guns" are all the guns I need.

10.

Text - Been there. | "explained" - as a bedtime story - special relativity to my daughter when she was two. She's 8 now, and still talks about mass increase and time dilation. This stuff sticks! 9 18 h Like Reply 21 O0

11.

Text - months ago Oh shit word?l think that's what's going on with me ... some girls always mention how I have a lot of girls but really I dont even be like that .that much Tho lol once I get a girlfriend they all start hitting me up trying to talk to me Lol that's how I had like 5 gf at one time

12.

Organism - When I was in high school we went to a military air force base they let us climb in a F4 and the pilot would ask us how it feels sitting in a fighter jet then i started to flip switches as he washed he ask me have i ever flown I no why because you just did everything right to get this jet off the ground i said this is the first time i ever got into a jet

13.

Text - Walks into unless I'm eating... Fair to be told put a mask on by police Barber has bowl of lolly pops on the counter top... slowly moves towards bowl of freedom while they check other people.... "Yeah mate l'm eating see.." whole barbers store laughs uncontrollably. 2 police realise masks don't stop the spread of anything as they breathe highly exaggerated sighs of pissed off air through their own masks #loopholeacquired

14.

Eyewear - LMAO THE GIRL IN FRONT OF ME IS WATCHING TIKTOKS ON THE PLANE AND ONE OF MY TIKTOKS POPPED UP ON HER FYP AND SHE LIKED IT wait til she finds out i'm right behind her LMAOO0O

15.

Text - Saad Xd Once this girl in Mehran was trying to overtake me at a u turn but i did not let her so she went around 67 cars, took the u turn at full throttle, stopped on the other side of the road, got out, clapped at me, got in the car again and drove away. Legend earned my respect ngl

16.

Product - 43 min · O Actual unsolicited conversation while I was waiting for the light to turn green in city today. Old person: Hi, you have a nose ring. Me: Yes. Old person: And a tattoo on your knee. Me: Also yes. Old person: Don't you think it's unrespectful to your parents that gave such an amazing life gift to mutilate your body like that? Me: Do you have children? Old person: Yes, two girls. Me: Awesome, congratulations! Did you get your daughters to get their ears pierced when they were b

17.

Yellow - My job accidentally put 4,000 hours on somebody time clock and his check was $23,000+. He quit the next day and now they can't find him

18.

Organism - Admin · Yesterday at 21:47 · A Yesterday when I was at the store with my 16 month old, the guy in front of me was checking out and says, "Wow, she is so cognitive. I bet she's 2 1/2 years old." I say, "No, she's 16 months old." His response: "Well, she's really advanced for her age." Me again: "Nope; she's just not vaccinated."

19.

Motor vehicle - I guess my daughter's teacher forgot we were FB friends •.. Best part of my day was transitioning to my afternoon class.... apparently the kids coordinated an awesome "welcoming" for me SGG I walked in and they all got out of their seats, bowed, and started saying, "ALL HAIL THE QUEEN aaa To which I replied, "back to your seats peasants!" And they all burst out laughing I seriously love my kids so much à DO 29

20.

Yellow - 8 hours ago - I think it was "discount for beautiful women day" on the metro today. I never saw so many on a metrocar at once. So I put my phone to my ear and said loudly, "Hey, no. I don't care what happened, man. You need to understand that there's no such thing as her having too many shoes. You need to apologize to her." I got 4 numbers by the end of my 20-minute trip without saying another word.

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