Picture this. You've moved on from your crappy ex. Maybe they lied and cheated. Maybe they were emotionally unavailable. Maybe they were a lazy mooch. Whatever the case, you're not friends. Now imagine that you receive a text from this reviled former lover. The text reads "I'm dating someone better than you." Personally, a message like that would probably result in an instant block. But Twitter user @EvaRebeca5 asked her followers to come up with their best 3 word comebacks to the unnecessary (and somewhat hurtful) hypothetical text messages. The responses are both hilarious and spicy, a primo exercise for anyone who has pretend arguments with their shampoo bottles in the shower. Though might not have the guts to put our ex in their place, we have nothing but respect for these people who brought the heat. We've put some of our favorite responses into this gallery, but there's loads more where these came from.
1. Untitled
Your EX texted you
— Rebeca (@EvaRebeca5) February 17, 2021
"I'm dating someone better than you"
Reply in 3 words
2. Untitled
yet, you're here
— Polyamorous Tantric Sex Guru (@BethLynch2020) February 17, 2021
3. Untitled
Reply? You can’t reply to what you didn’t see. Blickty-Blocked. 😂
— A. Lucy Goose ♏ 🦄🌈 (@stayathomdragon) February 18, 2021
4. Untitled
Like that's hard
— Kyle 🌱 (@KylePlantEmoji) February 18, 2021
5. Untitled
“Paying how much?”
— Adrian Yalland (@AdrianYalland) February 17, 2021
“Your cousin, yes?”
“Yet texting me”
“Tell your therapist”
“Who are you?”
6. Untitled
Comparisons are invidious.
— Craig4Glasgow (@Craig4P) February 17, 2021
Why tell me?
People aren't pets.
Forwarded to therapist.
Still feeling insecure?
Hopefully far away.
Do they know?
Are you paying?
7. Untitled
you type the letter "F" and never send it. That way when he checks his phone it just says you are typing.
— SosaFlo (@SosaFlo1) February 18, 2021
If this clown is still texting you that you he'll keep checking or waiting to see the giant message. .... and then never send.
one letter. Winning headgame
8. Untitled
I've shagged her
— Gem (@gemmacaddell86) February 17, 2021
9. Untitled
To be honest I wouldn’t reply. Just show you’ve moved on and you aren’t interested. The lack of reply will say more than any message could.
— David Ayres (@davidjayres) February 18, 2021
10. Untitled
You’re dating God?
— Tracey (@3obergs) February 17, 2021
11. Untitled
I bumped into my jerk ex-husband, a couple years after the divorce.
— joules Wear the damn mask! (@joules54228823) February 18, 2021
Him: "I found a great woman who makes me happy."
Me: "Hey, me too!"
It was worth it for the priceless look on his face. #TrueStory #TurnsOutImBi
12. Untitled
In your dreams
— George Galloway (@georgegalloway) February 17, 2021
13. Untitled
Who is this?
— 😎 Böschii 😎 (@Boschii) February 17, 2021
14. Untitled
Reminds me of a joke. Two 80 year olds divorce and get new lovers right away.
— John Merzetti 🇨🇦🇲🇽🇮🇹 (@johnmerzetti) February 18, 2021
They bump into each other months later. The ex-husband boasts, "I'm dating a 20-year old girl!"
The ex-wife retorts, "I'm dating a 20-year old stud...and 20 goes into 80 more than 80 goes into 20!"
15. Untitled
"who is this"
— negaoryx (@negaoryx) February 18, 2021
16. Untitled
"when she graduating?"
— Vana (@HavanaRama) February 18, 2021
17. Untitled
Pity the fool pic.twitter.com/nCesFEsMt8
— Hydroxycaroline💜💚💛 (@carolinecstark) February 18, 2021
18. Untitled
"Relay my condolences"
— Marmite (@Marmiteman79) February 17, 2021
19. Untitled
Still delusional then.
— CharlieCat (@Busterdog7) February 17, 2021
20. Untitled
“It IS me!”
— Isolation Panel (@WallNoise) February 17, 2021
[then rip off disguise and laugh at them]
Submitted by:
from Memebase https://ift.tt/3awSNTJ
0 Comments