Weird And Dubiously Helpful Tips From Internet Strangers

Tilesh Bo February 15, 2021

Looking for some guidance in life? Stress and existential crises got you down? Try perusing this assortment of very helpful to very weird advice. Some of it is actually insightful, but most of these tidbits are just whimsical and quirky Twitter tidbits and memes. And were okay with that.

1.

Line art - Bored with Self-Isolation? Try Astral Projection

2.

Text - The cats are on day 3,721 of their stay at home quarantine. They have some lessons for us amateurs. Lessons like: Nap early, nap often. Seek out sunbeams. Eat on a regular schedule. Keep yourself clean. And most importantly, it's ok to run up and down the apartment screaming when it all gets to be too much. Just take a nap afterwards.

3.

Text - Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad My Quarantine Routine I just wanted to share what works for me. This is just to give me structure and a sense of stability 9 am - 2 am: wake up & stare at my phone 898K 8:47 PM - Mar 19, 2020 159K people are talking about this <>

4.

Text - amazingmars self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the Fucking void the-official-nasa May we suggest a Soothing Bath instead Source: amazingmars 481,817 notes A

5.

Drinkware - BEDROOM CUP CHECK Coffee DO YOU HAVE CUPS IN YOUR BEDROOM? THATS CHILL AS HELL HAHA CUPS ARE SICK DONT TAKE THEM TO THE KITCHEN COLLECT MORE CUPS DROP OUT OF SCHOOL SELL DRUGS

6.

Text - By the age of 35, you should have saved at least half your weight in small unidentifiable animal bones, empty shells, and any interesting rocks, insects, or leaves in an utterly disorganized glass curiosity cabinet, because "what's the point otherwise", retirement experts say

7.

Text - Emotions Are Communication @seerutkchawla Aggression: What I am Anger: What am I trying to protect/ defend? trying to survive? Jealousy: Discomfort: What is it What that I too doesn't aspire feel right? to? Joy: Fear: This means Where do I something to need safety? me OO the.inked.therapist

8.

Text - 6 easy exercises while in quarantine 1. Trying to get up from the couch. 2. Staggering to 3. Staring into bed drunk the fridge 4. Checking if your feet are still there. 5. Covering your ears to make the voices stop. 6. Abandoning all hopes and dreams

9.

Label - Go slowly insane in an ISOLATED BARN Grow a beard See things Cry in front of windows Befriend cullery Declare yourself King SECLUDED DESPAIR BREAKS CALL NOW 0141 496 0003

10.

Wave - LIVE aborteddreams abor BREAKING NEWS WHAT IF WE ALL JUST GIVE UP? 14:23 PEOPLE ACROSS THE COUNTRY ARE DECIDING TO SAY "FUCK IT! LET'S GO EXTINCT!"

11.

Water - STOP HAVING THOUGHTS YOU NEVER NEEDED TO BE SELF-AWARE O IDEAS, ABSTRACTIONS, LANGUAGE, AND REASONING ARE DREAM-PARASITES FROM THE ETHER • WE DID NOT INVITE THEM. WE DID NOT WANT THEM. THEY MAKE US THINK WE DO • RETURN TO THE STYGIAN PROTO-MIND OF YOUR ANT & GRUB FOREFATHERS. REJOIN THEIR ANCIENT CHOIR They need baritones

12.

Pink - DO ONE THING EVERY DAY THAT SCARES YOUR FAMILY

13.

Text - Did You Know? Birds control time! They do this out of spite. smallest-feeblest-boggart Makes sense

14.

Food - Bite S Natural & A Skittles Ingest the light. FEEL ITS POWER. Absorb all color. Devour the sun. EAT THE STARS. TASTE THE RAINBOW. CK FOREST You are unstoppable. ST ny m

15.

Text - pissyjorts life.. is an egg kavvka explain pissyjorts has chickens in it sometimes

16.

Font - Prevent Carpal Tunnel NO XSlouched shoulders XBent wrists YES Running into woods V Never to be seen again

17.

Text - Wanna really be attractive? Heal.

18.

Text - Scott Sauls @scottsauls HOW TO APOLOGIZE • express sorrow (I'm sorry) • own guilt (I was wrong) • name specific wrongs (I did X) • name impact (I hurt u) • no IFs (sorry if I) •don't blameshift/defend (but u) no passive voice (sorry u were offended) • make amends (what can I do) -@dukekwondc

19.

Text - Don't ask kids what they want to be when they grow up. Ask them what problems they want to solve. This changes the conversation from who do I want to work for to what do I need to learn in order to be able to do that. Jaime Caşap-

20.

Text - OTHER LOGICAL REASONS TO STAY INSIDE: 1. Less chance of being attacked by wasps 2. Your chance of getting hit by a train significantly decreases if you stay inside 3. Don't have to spend as much money on shoes 4. You can not wear trousers and not get asked to leave the premises Dave

21.

Organ - Tired of GENDER? Try skeletonism today! No hair Noorgans Noskin No dysphoria No gender Nothing Youtre literally just askeleton! Donteven have to wear clothes! Quityour job! fight in the Skeleton War! DISCIAIMER THIS MEME WAS DEFINITELY NOT MADE BY THE SKELETON INSIDE YOU TRYING TOESCAPE ITS FLESH PRISON.

22.

Portrait - Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Anais Nin -

23.

PENGUIN BOOKS HOW TO SURVIVE IN A STRANGE WORLD AFTER SLIDING INTO AN ALTERNATE TIMELINE COMPLETE UNABRIDGED

24.

Sky - IF you ever Fall over in public, pick yourself up and say sorry its been a while since linhabited abody." And just walk away. whisper

25.

Text - Steven Bartlett You wouldn't plant a seed and then dig it up every few minutes to see if it has grown. So why do you keep questioning yourself, your hard work and your decisions? Have patience, stop overthinking and keep watering your seeds.

26.

Text - NOT A WOLF 1 hr · O YOU WILL SURVIVE EVERY SINGLE DAY OF YOUR LIFE BUT ONE BUT ALSO YOU DO NOT KNOW WHEN THAT DAY IS AND WHEN IT COMES IT CAN STILL BE REAL SPOOKY LIKE YOU COULD GET PULLED IN HALF BY TWO HAWKS FLYING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS THERE ARE BASICALLY NO RULES FOR DEATH DID THIS HELP 2.9K 94 Comments 1.3K Shares

27.

Text - HANG OUT WITH ME Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan The Gi things to remember: 1) you exist 2) you matter 3) others exist 4) others matter 5) maybe nothing is real 6) act like it is just in case tho

28.

Obelisk - Just be yourself My 'self' is just an ever shifting collection of desires and reflections Just have fun then

29.

Font - 果の punlich Depression Tips • Kill the gods and eat their flesh to rise above human chemicals into horrifying immortality

30.

Property - Your chances of getting killed by a COw are low, but never zero

31.

Food - Don't have a bookmark? Try using Chex Mix instead

32.

Cartoon - Don't forget to love yourself. Love others. Tend to your energy. Set boundaries. Be a light. Have faith. Manifest your vision. My Guides @shanti_shanti Bitch I'm just tryin' to keep breathing and not kill anyone. ME

33.

Text - Jhala Thee Stallion @jhala_c My therapist dropped a gem: you can't spend your life avoiding heartbreak or bad things from happening. You have to condition yourself to have appropriate emotional responses but learn to keep moving forward.

34.

Dog - DO YOUR PART EVEN WINSTON THE PUG KNOWS WHAT IS RIGHT, SO HE'S DOING EVERYTHING HE CAN TO HELP OUT. ARE YOU?

35.

Text - Jill @OLCVTA Replying to @CarolineMoss If you can imagine the worst thing, you can imagine the best thing. Both things are imaginary. Say outloud verbally the positive outcome, repeat until it feels more real. >

36.

Text - Thread Aerin @aerincreer Always remember: Pee after sex Greet people in your emails Wipe front to back Sneeze into your elbow Antibiotics stop birth control from working Don't wash your face in the shower Brush your tongue @beingteen Flavored condoms are not for vaginal intercourse Don't microwave styrofoam

37.

Text - Susanna K. @superflippy Replying to @CarolineMoss The #BestThingATherapistSaid to me was to break everything down into smaller pieces. No, smaller. No, even smaller. The first step to taking a shower is walking to the bathroom.

38.

Text - NOT A WOLF 6 hrs · O REMEMBER IT IS ALWAYS DARKEST JUST BEFORE DAWN EXCEPT DAWN HAPPENS KINDA GRADUALLY AND THEN AT SOME POINT ITS JUST LIKE HAHA WOAH ITS MORNING ANYWAY CHIN UP PAL DO0 2.8K 49 Comments 1K Shares

39.

Text - soy cappuccino @malyelff My therapist just said "you being alive is enough. You don't need to do anything to be deserving of love and happiness. Existing means you deserve to have self worth." And idk who needs to hear that but I sure did 8:05 PM · 17 Jul 19 · Twitter for Android

40.

Bird - Having trouble deciding on an accessory to wear to to complete your look? A crow on your shoulder is unique, gender neutral, works with any outfit, and never goes out of style.

41.

Text - TwistedDoodles @twisteddoodles A storm is a great time to steal a trampoline froma garden. They'll assume it blew away. But they won't look in case it killed someone.

42.

Text - good responses to getting stabbed with a sword • rude • that's fair • not again • are you gonna want this back or can i keep it

43.

Text - www.ChuckTingle.com CLOSE YOUR EYES AND THINK ONE POSITIVE THOUGHT ABOUT YOURSELF SO WILD AND OUTRAGEOUS AND SILLY THAT IT MAKES YOU LAUGH AND THINK "IF ONLY IT WERE REALLY THIS WAY. THIS IDEA IS NICE TO THINK ON, BUT IT IS ONLY A BUCKAROO'S DREAMTHOUGHT" DO YOU HAVE IT? GOOD GUESS WHAT BUDDY: THIS THOUGHT IS TRUE

44.

Photo caption - There's an old saying in show business. "The Show Must Go Wrong" Everything always goes wrong, and you just have to deal with it.

45.

Text - cumfort how does one turn their emotions off theperksofbeinga-jackass Okay so first go to settings theperksofbeinga-jackass I'm a fucking idiot I thought that said emojis at first shessofuckedinthehead no, im still willing to try this, go ahead, im at settings, what do next

46.

Automotive exhaust - If you draw arms and eyebrows on a snake, it instantly turns them into sassy little assholes @Friendofbae

47.

Yellow - WALKING ON YOUR KNEES FOR A HUNDRED MILES THROUGH THE DESERT, REPENTING LETTING THE SOFT ANIMAL OF YOUR BODY LOVE WHAT IT LOVES

48.

Text - You came into this world as a radiant bundle of exuberant riddles. You slipped into this dimension as a shimmering burst of spiral hallelujahs. You blasted into this realm as a lush explosion of ecstatic gratitude. And it is your birthright to fulfill those promises.

Submitted by:



from Memebase https://ift.tt/3s2KHrX

Post a Comment

0 Comments

Emoji
(y)
:)
:(
hihi
:-)
:D
=D
:-d
;(
;-(
@-)
:P
:o
:>)
(o)
:p
(p)
:-s
(m)
8-)
:-t
:-b
b-(
:-#
=p~
x-)
(k)