36 Fresh & Funny Tweets For Easy Scrolling

Twitter can be exhausting sometimes having to sift through the same not-so-hot take regurgitated over and over again. Just hand over the good jokes, amiright? We've curated a pretty good selection of hilarious tweets by the comedy novices and experts of Twitter to save you from the scroll fatigue. If you're in the mood to see some witty zingers and silly 280-character stories without wading through the monotony of Twitter, this is the gallery for you. 

1.

Text - Ken Jennings O @KenJennings PLANET FUNNY I'll probably get whichever vaccine has the funnier Super Bowl ad. 2:32 PM · 2020-11-18 · Twitter for iPhone 5,967 Retweets 314 Quote Tweets 88.5K Likes

2.

Text - maddie @madddiexo what do u possibly ask for christmas at 25. like bro i want a house 8:16 PM · 2020-11-18 · Twitter for iPhone 12.2K Retweets 1,939 Quote Tweets 106K Likes

3.

Text - coastal eddy @coastal_eddyLB Corona Virus explained in craft terms: you and 9 friends are crafting. 1 is using glitter. How many projects have glitter? 1:52 PM · 2020-11-12 · Twitter for iPhone 80.4K Retweets 7,151 Quote Tweets 415K Likes

4.

Text - Rachel McCartney @RachelMComedy We're gonna have to retire calling amazing restaurant meals "to die for" because it turns out people are just generally ready to die for restaurant meals 9:04 AM · 2020-11-19 · Twitter for Android 119 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 1,301 Likes

5.

Text - 5ive* @fivetinah plants be like "i dont vibe with this dirt" then die 1:49 PM · 2020-11-20 · Twitter for Android 499 Retweets 34 Quote Tweets 2,333 Likes

6.

Text - the pan-midwesterner @panmidwest HER: why do you hate every single Hugh Grant movie? ME: i love love actually actually 10:03 AM · 2016-12-02 · TweetDeck 315 Retweets 15 Quote Tweets 1,121 Likes

7.

Text - Mr Tankui @mb_billions Talking to me after you yelled at me. Angry tiger @AngryTiger__ · 2020-10-02 Bomboclaat 9:12 AM · 2020-11-20 · Twitter for iPad 1,405 Retweets 47 Quote Tweets 3,816 Likes

8.

Text - pat. @PatsATweetin Having "huge balls" seems more like a massive flaw. Take the weakest part of the male body and make easier to whack. 10:19 AM · 2020-11-18 · Twitter for Android 102 Retweets 7 Quote Tweets 1,303 Likes

9.

Text - Sukhnidh ... @skhndh 'explain the gap in your resume' is so00000 infuriating cos maybe i was just vibing? maybe something catastrophic happened? why do you have to share intimate personal details to justify non-productive/non- labouring periods of your literal human existence omg 3:39 PM · 2020-11-17 · Twitter for iPhone 26.9K Retweets 2,292 Quote Tweets 172K Likes

10.

Text - anja @internetanja getting bored of 69 and 420. they should release new funny numbers 4:08 PM · 2020-11-18 · Twitter for iPhone 23K Retweets 3,610 Quote Tweets 388K Likes

11.

Text - Zuneera Shah @shahshahzon Im ready to be a housewife. I will marry a house 9:02 PM · 2020-11-13 · Twitter for iPhone 664 Retweets 71 Quote Tweets 5,774 Likes

12.

Text - David Hughes O @david8hughes [Jesus goes over the bill at the last supper] "Why would-[closes eyes & rubs bridge of nose]-Why would anyone order wine?" 1:03 PM · 2014-04-20 · Twitter for iPhone 16.6K Retweets 118 Quote Tweets 26.7K Likes

13.

Text - *sigh*clops @aotakeo ... [holding my brain upside down, shaking out its pockets] gimme your serotonin nerd 9:42 AM · 2020-11-18 · Twitter for iPhone 814 Retweets 12 Quote Tweets 4,352 Likes

14.

Text - dinosaur @dinoman_j me: my phone is always on silent them: don't you miss calls? me: yes :) 11:12 AM · 2020-11-18 · Twitter for Android 5,178 Retweets 464 Quote Tweets 34.1K Likes

15.

Text - Lil Bit ... @LizerReal *reading the nutrition facts of a cookie* me: so l'll need to eat at least 83 of these to get 100% of my daily protein 10:12 AM · 2020-11-17 · Twitter Web App 142 Retweets 8 Quote Tweets 676 Likes

16.

Text - Ella Zee @EllaZee5 Cinderella: [changing clothes after the wedding, removes one shoe] Prince Charming: omg babe where did you go 10:26 AM · 2020-11-16 · Twitter for Android 140 Retweets 4 Quote Tweets 359 Likes

17.

Text - Adam Cerious @Browtweaten mary: my water broke joseph: why do I smell grapes 10:16 PM · 2020-11-16 · Twitter for Android 500 Retweets 25 Quote Tweets 5,435 Likes

18.

Text - * How YOU Doin * 9 @jollyrobber My cat walks down the steps in front of me like he's the beneficiary of my life insurance. 1:24 PM · 2020-11-15 · Twitter for Android 252 Retweets 16 Quote Tweets 1,045 Likes

19.

Text - Kuzcolia Valentine @roselia_val So glad I was weird af in high school cuz now ain't no one hittin me up to join their pyramid scheme 3:14 PM · 2020-11-14 · Twitter for iPhone 30.9K Retweets 1,570 Quote Tweets 237K Likes

20.

Text - Zack Budryk @BudrykZack The single most important thing a man can do to be an ally is give his woman friends permission to give dudes at the bar his number so when they call he can angrily say that's not funny because she died 15 years ago that very night 3:28 PM · 2020-11-18 · Twitter Web App 21.1K Retweets 1,296 Quote Tweets 134K Likes

21.

Text - S TRILLIONAIRE S @maltyhops masks are control devices for obedient sheep, it's as simple as that. now if you'll excuse me, i need to pledge allegiance to this flag 10:56 AM · 2020-11-18 · Twitter Web App 6,341 Retweets 157 Quote Tweets 54.2K Likes

22.

Text - n8 *+ @NateEvans00 Y'all republicans really believe that we would rig the election and then choose JOE BIDEN!?!? 7:44 PM · 2020-11-13 · Twitter for iPhone 65.7K Retweets 4,251 Quote Tweets 612K Likes

23.

Technology - CURTIS @14wardi me walking out to the target parking lot with the ps5 1:08 PM · 2020-11-12 · Twitter for iPhone 5,288 Retweets 354 Quote Tweets 32.9K Likes

24.

Text - Yukon 'Die Hard is a Christmas movi... @GrahamKritzer Them: if lemonade has real lemons in it, do you think gatorade has actual gators in it? Me: *drinking poisonade* oh shit 6:45 PM · 2020-11-13 · Twitter for Android 48 Retweets 2 Quote Tweets 212 Likes

25.

Text - thomas @perfectsweeties the thing i miss most about going to the movies is just fucking shoving handfuls of popcorn covered in fake butter in my face during the previews so that i spend the entire movie in severe gastrointestinal distress 3:19 PM · 2020-11-19 · Twitter for Android 349 Retweets 15 Quote Tweets 4,254 Likes

26.

Text - slate ... @PleaseBeGneiss brain: you've rehearsed this moment over and over. your notes are ready if you need them. you got this buddy. drive thru: can i take your order? me: *sweating* number cheese sex no large 6:39 PM · 2020-11-18 · Twitter for iPhone 901 Retweets 59 Quote Tweets 7,282 Likes

27.

Text - Taming Fred Savage @FredTaming the sun shines through my window onto my calzone and it blooms like a flower into a large pizza 4:50 PM · 2020-11-18 · Twitter Web App 119 Retweets 5 Quote Tweets 921 Likes

28.

Text - randy @randypaint the "canadians are nice" stereotype is funny considering their favorite sport is beating the absolute fuck out of each other with sticks while knives are strapped to their feet 4:19 PM · 2020-11-20 · Twitter for iPhone 292 Retweets 25 Quote Tweets 3,373 Likes

29.

Text - jon drake @DrakeGatsby Has anybody thought of a new way to eat a potato lately? Feels like it's been a while since we've had a fresh take on eating potatoes. 2:49 PM · 2020-11-18 · Twitter for iPhone 499 Retweets 58 Quote Tweets 7,224 Likes

30.

Text - Oh Skoog @Skoog harvest his DNA. bleed him dry. New York Post O @nypost · 10h NEW Santa Claus is 'immune' to COVID-19, says Dr. Anthony Fauci trib.al/JSunKM7 3:11 PM · 2020-11-20 · Twitter for iPhone 6,136 Retweets 56 Quote Tweets 72.6K Likes

31.

Text - CapriCornyCait @CapriCornyCait i'm not getting my boyfriend a PS5 because then i'd have to get ALL my boyfriends a PS5 and that's just not financially feasible for me rn 4:29 PM · 2020-11-12 · Twitter for iPhone 3,112 Retweets 193 Quote Tweets 47.9K Likes

32.

Text - casey @caseygripps every day I think about the girl who thought everyone could "hear the universe's energy" and it turned out she just had tinnitus, I hope she's doing well 2:21 AM · 2020-11-13 · Twitter for iPhone 5,279 Retweets 724 Quote Tweets 103K Likes

33.

Text - slate @PleaseBeGneiss excel: is that a date? me: 57.39 is very much not a date excel: strong date vibes to me me: h-how excel: fixed it me: 57/39/2020? excel: you're welcome 12:23 PM · 2020-11-17 · Twitter for iPhone 4,718 Retweets 332 Quote Tweets 39.3K Likes

34.

Text - kie @kieransofar me: my new book is fantastic friend: can i borrow it after? me: you can't color it in twice 12:22 PM · 2020-11-17 · Twitter for iPhone 135 Retweets 2 Quote Tweets 1,505 Likes

35.

Text - jo @WhaJoTalkinBout friend: our basement just flooded we have to cancel game night me: *covering phone* that's a bit extreme genie: two wishes left 6:13 PM · 2020-11-20 · Twitter for iPhone 89 Retweets 808 Likes

36.

Text - not brendan @crocodilethumbs how can i expect to have my student loans forgiven when i can't even forgive myself 8:04 PM · 2020-11-16 · Twitter for iPhone 706 Retweets 15 Quote Tweets 8,072 Likes

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