We know. This title belongs in r/brandnewsentence. But today's weirdest news comes courtesy of Johnny Rotten, the frontman of legendary punk band the Sex Pistols. It seems the 64 year old had befriended some neighborhood squirrels and welcomed the critters into his Venice Beach home. Unfortunately, their thank you was a lot less wholesome than his fostering attempt. "I looked down there this morning at my willy and there's a f–ing flea bite on it," Rotten explained to the UK's Daily Star. "The bites, wow, last night was murder because of it. The itching too. It's such a poxy thing to get caught out on.The only way around it, because I'm not going to blame the poor little squirrels, is to Vaseline my legs." "I just hope they don't get the wrong idea," he continued.
The experience sounds dreadful - and people on Twitter are absolutely roasting the singer's itchy experience. Johnny Rotten's outspoken support for Donald Trump and MAGA have already been under fire for being completely antithetical to his punk past - and it seems that fans that have turned their back on him are relishing the opportunity to mock his misfortune. However you feel about this bizarre story, it's definitely proof that 2020 has a lot more tricks up its sleeve.
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[me, traveling back in time to 1995 to once again talk to my 16 year old self]
— Secretary of No State Andrew Turley (@casio_juarez) November 23, 2020
2020 me: Ok, one more thing, Johnny Rotten got bit by a flea on his dick after taking in some squirrels.
1995 me:
2020 me:
1995 me: That’s the first thing you’ve told me that makes any sense.
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Clicking on the Johnny Rotten trending link, and of course I expect he's died.
— Dylan James (@writeknuckled) November 23, 2020
Nope.
Bitten by a flea on his penis.
Okay... pic.twitter.com/8VIWZlHqZy
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Those fleas were effectively mining Johnny Rotten's penis for food, but they never mined the bollocks.
— T'Other Simon (@TOther_Simon) November 23, 2020
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So I notice Johnny Rotten was trending so I went to see if he died.
— 𝚔 𝚎 𝚎 𝚏 (@KeefLynch) November 23, 2020
Nope.
Turns out Flea bit his penis.
That’s pretty punk rock. pic.twitter.com/wKMwMiTuhC
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Pardon me while I laugh and laugh and laugh that Tr*mp supporter Johnny Rotten got bitten on the penis by squirrel fleas.
— Sing Blue Silver (@DartmouthDogs) November 23, 2020
As hubs said 'If you had Johnny Rotten bitten on penis by fleas on 2020 bingo, you win.' pic.twitter.com/gMJSrqu3wO
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2020 BABY
— REESUS PATRIOT™💙 (@ReesusP) November 23, 2020
All bingo card companies issue joint statement that they will no longer be providing Bingo Cards for 2020
"Sex Pistols star Johnny Rotten bitten by a flea on his penis after rescuing squirrels" pic.twitter.com/p5o6ALjqIq
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This Monday morning I learned that Johnny Rotten was bit on his penis by a flea after taking in some squirrels...I also learned he’s a trump supporter? Good morning everyone.
— dazed n refused (@CyndiLopEar) November 23, 2020
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the flea that bit johnny rotten’s cheese knob instantly catching maga brainrot from his blood pic.twitter.com/H40vFPjDIu
— chantelle's gromit mug (@CENOBlTES) November 23, 2020
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Johnny Rotten doesn't have a scrotum, he has a flea bag pic.twitter.com/mh8o2Rj1OS
— Gnarlton the Gnome (@Crash2411) November 23, 2020
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Johnny Rotten having flea bites on his dick is the news we all needed tbh. And it begs the question: is it really the first time?
— Katspaks (@katspaks) November 23, 2020
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Johnny Rotten being in the news for flea bites on his penis is a total 2020 mood
— Kiss my Fat Ash🍑 (@Tobi_Is_Fab) November 23, 2020
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I made it almost 42 years without thinking about Johnny Rotten’s penis.
— Blue Blazer #BidenHarris2020 (@thechipcarey) November 23, 2020
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Hearing Johnny Rotten got bit in the dick by a flea gave me enough motivation to make it to Monday.
— Mark Bryson (@PostmodernPoser) November 23, 2020
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Luckily, I had "Johnny Rotten befriends squirrels" on my 2020 bingo card so I'm grateful for the headline https://t.co/z75mGVhZOI
— Gordon D (@gordondym) November 23, 2020
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Johnny Rotten bitten by an elite team of fleas working closely with their field commanders, the squirrels to take down #MAGA one flea bitten penis at a time! #AMAs2020 #AMAs pic.twitter.com/a9zdOqiXdg
— 💥Cookie DeCleyre💥 (@margie_hathaway) November 23, 2020
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I know I shouldn’t laugh... but I did 😇 https://t.co/fJrvyTlgBk
— Josie Stevens (@JosieStevensMTR) November 23, 2020
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While I've always loved Never Mind the Bollocks, this is Sex Pistols news I did not need to hear. https://t.co/KbzBlSsorV
— Chris Day (@williemoeday) November 23, 2020
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Just call it crabs already! https://t.co/hedIScEY4g
— 😷Florida Wawa and USPS Patron😷 (@FlyersFanFLA) November 23, 2020
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I don’t even know who this man is, but I’m gonna assume he was tryna feed the squirrel 🐿 some nuts 🌰 🤔 #JohnnyRotten 🤢#mondaythoughts https://t.co/U0OVNfuL0L
— 𝓥𝓮𝓮 🦋 (@Vee1313) November 23, 2020
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When the Post goes round the writers' room and everyone contributes 1 word, just like summer camp: https://t.co/qH8zZzAp6K
— Shannon (@OHSNLobby) November 23, 2020
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