Random & Raunchy Tweets From A Hilariously Absurd Twitter Account

When contemplating the world of 'Weird Twitter,' masters of the non sequitur that come to mind are @dril and @horse_ebooks, but there are many other delightfully strange absurdist Twitter accounts that deserve some recognition. @Veggiefact is one of these special anonymous accounts that has blessed the internet with thousands of hilariously weird tidbits. Scrolling through this sort of account feels like you're assuming the mind of another person—deranged thoughts floating by like puffs of smoke, one after the other. 

We've collected some of our favorite tweets from this year for your enjoyment, but you can visit @Veggiefact and scroll back all the way to 2014 if you so desire.

1.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact VegsieTales "girls dont shit" implies the existence of a schrödinger's demigirl where the shit exists both in immeasurable multitudes and not at al|

2.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact Vegsieleles the dog from doge is being prosecuted by the SEC for insider trading and all you people can think about is spotify wrapped 8.

3.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact VegsieTales The "ABCS" of sex? Always Be Cumming

4.

Green - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact VegsieTales the modern artist can only dream to create art as notorious and emotion- provoking as this image

5.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact Vegsielales obsessed with the idea of reckless behavior crimes. got ticketed for reckless driving. arrested for reckless galloping. tried without jury for reckless bounding

6.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact Vegsiefales twitter rules cuz you can see two peoples opinions on the state of the world right next to each other and one is from the past life reincarnation of nagito komaeda and the other is from a senator

7.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact ... VeğsieTales if you've ever been a customer fuck you

8.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact Vegsiefales suing the manufacturer of these pickle rick themed condoms because I believe they played a part in my wife leaving me

9.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact .. VegsieTales why are we still here? just to suffer?

10.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact Vegsiefales asbestos isnt even that bad you guys just hate seeing silicate minerals succeeding

11.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact VegsieTales you fathoming? huh? you fucking perceiving over there? comprehending? BEHOLDING even? bitch

12.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact VegsieTales *scruffs your neck so I can carry you with ease*

13.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact Veğsietales the whole apple thing is a red herring the fall of man happened cuz Adam got pegged

14.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact VegsieTales what animal do they milk to get mountain dew

15.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact Vegsiefales very excited to announce that my handlers are switching me to a more protein-rich kibble

16.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact VegsieTales humans becoming bipeds really was the beginning of the end bro we fucked up hard

17.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact Vegsiefales clickbait news site with no sources: MILLENIALS are doing the gun challenge wherein they shoot themselves with a gun for "tiktok cloud" every middle aged person you know: WHAT!!!!!!!!!! IIIII!!

18.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact Vegsiefales NEVER fuck someone who uses the word doggo they'll spend the whole time talking about what a heckin good pussarino you have

19.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact VegsieTales the only reason bees die when they sting you is because everyone says they will. if they practiced mindfulness it'd be fine i think

20.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact VeğsieTales why frick frack when you can snick sna- [cia operative tases me again]

21.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact VegsieTales Thate this fucking website so much and yet I open it every day

22.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact Vegsiefeles sure, my brain might not be so big, but my heart? small also. i am a crayfish.

23.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact .. VegsieTales the digestive system is a miracle of nature that's capable of turning milk into pain

24.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact VegsieTales this week on hydraulic press channel we will be compacting my childhood trauma into a tiny cube and using it to make soup broth

25.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact Vegsiefales called 911 to ask if a hot dog is a sandwich and now the operator is hunting me for sport

26.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact Veğsietales therapist that just repeats everything you say back to you in a whiny voice

27.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact Vegsiefeles putting spoons in the microwave for 30 minutes just to feel something

28.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact VegsieTales isn't it weird that people living paycheck to paycheck are supposed to have months worth of savings for emergencies while billion dollar corporations are so poorly managed they're on the brink of bankruptcy after a week of reduced profits

29.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact .. Vegsiefeles animal crossing but every tool is a gun and tom nook charges 500% interest on loans

30.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact Vegsielales if you lost years of memory due to trauma and only really have a consistent timeline of your life starting 5 or so years ago smash that fucking like button

31.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact Vegsiefales god told me arson is ok sometimes, as a treat

32.

Text - Veggietales Facts @Veggiefact Vegsiejales my jokes may be terrible but at least I don't have a redbubble shop and an audible sponsorship

Submitted by:



from Memebase https://ift.tt/3pawx6B

Post a Comment

0 Comments