Ever look around and get the sense that we're living in some sort of techno-dystopia? We get it—sometimes it's cool to have lights that you can dim from your phone or a watch that tells you how many calories you burned, but maybe the 'Internet of Things' has gone too damn far. Once you start connecting every single object in your home to the internet, you become pretty vulnerable when, say, Google is suddenly down, or your WiFi router malfunctions. Sometimes a doorbell should just be a doorbell and a toothbrush certainly shouldn't require regular firmware updates. And who the hell actually wants an Amazon surveillance robot literally flying around their house 24/7?
Anyway, we've got a bunch of examples of bad 'smart devices' from Twitter that might make you reconsider that bluetooth coffee mug purchase.
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Welcome to the future pic.twitter.com/oCNWhaioVg
— Dare Obasanjo (@Carnage4Life) November 25, 2020
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So you cannot ring my DOOR BELL because someone changed it into a British HOTEL BOOKING WEBSITE #InternetOfShit cc @InternetOfShit pic.twitter.com/WUlTYZUK7I
— Jaap Stronks (@jaapstronks) December 9, 2020
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I’m using this Amazon Halo Fitbit clone and can’t comment on the workout stuff yet, but it has this creepy feature where it listens to every conversation you have and tries to analyze how other people perceive your speech. pic.twitter.com/WCu0S4B6pB
— Quinn Nelson (@SnazzyQ) October 31, 2020
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My toothbrush needed a firmware update. 🦷 ⚙️ // @internetofshit pic.twitter.com/udlEOAodBR
— Matt Schultz 😷 (@schumatt) October 12, 2020
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‘i forgot the login credentials for my robot vacuum’
— Casey Neistat (@Casey) September 22, 2020
WHAT A COMPLETELY INSANE THING TO SAY pic.twitter.com/xR4GaSSbdA
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.@internetofshit
— Saas (Sander as a Service) (@Hertog6) December 14, 2020
Translation of the post-it: "Please knock because Google is down". https://t.co/8kRGiyWR6n
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It's nearly midnight and I can't dim my lights because a server on the other side of the world is acting up
— David is ~Stressy~ 💗💜💙🧙 (@Davidramble) December 14, 2020
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I’m sitting here in the dark in my toddler’s room because the light is controlled by @Google Home. Rethinking... a lot right now.
— Joe Brown (@joemfbrown) December 14, 2020
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Just updated firmware on our Xmas tree! 😍🎄 pic.twitter.com/Vrfa8MLhI9
— Jeff Atwood (@codinghorror) December 13, 2020
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super cool and chill when your front door lock issues an emergency email to you pleading with you to update the firmware asap that's gotta be good news right? pic.twitter.com/LwKvoihtMh
— you say you want a resolution (@mathowie) December 10, 2020
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Literally all of the reviews are "This is a great product but don't stick a facebook camera in your house"https://t.co/q6vOlSfj3Z
— Fyodor (@Fyodor32768) December 9, 2020
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Hold on, I made coffee but my cup has a firmware update pic.twitter.com/EDvnVRVffh
— Matthew Panzarino (@panzer) December 7, 2020
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These are iPad stations being prepared for virtual ICU end of life visits by a palliative care doc I know. Jesus. pic.twitter.com/lIgbg0FhaL
— i cant drive, n95 (@roto_tudor) December 3, 2020
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Some part of AWS is down and apparently it’s screwing up the Roomba.
— Matthew Green (@matthew_d_green) November 25, 2020
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tech bro: “how much money can I spend to be vaguely self-aware without having to do any of the work?” pic.twitter.com/efGmgvDYSA
— Ariel Norling (@ariel_n) October 24, 2020
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I, for one, see nothing wrong with plugging the very interior of your home into an always-on surveillance apparatus that stores all its data on computers you don't own, and now this time also has a flying robot in the mix. https://t.co/Q0LqVwrVXX
— Kelsey D. Atherton (@AthertonKD) September 24, 2020
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(1/2) Out running this morning on a new route and a lady runs past me.
— Andrew Seward (@MrAndrew) September 14, 2020
Despite only passing, when I get home @Strava automatically tags her in my run. If I click on her face it shows her full name, picture and a map of her running route (which effectively shows where she lives) pic.twitter.com/flnHpSvA79
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1-year-old: [motions to TV remote]
— Bridget Carey (@BridgetCarey) September 17, 2020
Me: [hands over remote] Yeah sure kid knock yourself out.
30 seconds later: OH DEAR GOD NO!! pic.twitter.com/i7g5xIqt1a
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Stuck in internet of things dystopia want to sleep but my bed can’t connect to the server pic.twitter.com/t3GkZtYZde
— Nick Cammarata (@nickcammarata) September 2, 2020
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I installed a kitchen faucet that can connect to Alexa (“Alexa, ask <brand> to dispense 1 cup hot water”). The problem is that when the faucet is running, Alexa can’t hear me to tell it to turn off. Well that’s one problem, actual utility is another. Also, no timer.
— Steven Sinofsky (@stevesi) September 1, 2020
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I installed a kitchen faucet that can connect to Alexa (“Alexa, ask <brand> to dispense 1 cup hot water”). The problem is that when the faucet is running, Alexa can’t hear me to tell it to turn off. Well that’s one problem, actual utility is another. Also, no timer.
— Steven Sinofsky (@stevesi) September 1, 2020
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Having your car automatically upload driving data so that insurance companies can “customise” premiums.
— Greg Price (@ObscureBug) August 21, 2020
What could possibly go wrong.https://t.co/FrYu4y6k35
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Kids refused to come out and we gave up trying to drag them so took the WiFi for a walk instead. pic.twitter.com/ShjLVrkqQj
— Simon Warren (@100Climbs) January 2, 2021
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