45 Entertaining Tweets Ranging From Clever To Absurd

We're back with another round of hilarious, relatable, and intriguing tweets from the great minds of Twitter. Some people can't stand endlessly scrolling through that overstimulating bird app for more than a few minutes, and we totally get it. That's why we like to put together a digestible dose of the good stuff. Sit back, relax, and enjoy some tweets

1.

Skin - ... @bobwitdabally No one: Me at 8 years old: 12:15 PM · 2020-12-29 · Twitter for iPhone 158K Retweets 6,355 Quote Tweets 806K Likes

2.

Organism - heavy sweater @someofmybest Texel sheep are so fkn fake. Absolutely a different animal cramming itself into a sheepskin. MacG 3:59 AM · 2020-12-30 · Twitter for iPhone 5,212 Retweets 814 Quote Tweets 46.1K Likes

3.

Text - Fred (tamed for now) @FredTaming me: i'm terrified of those big empty spaces ppl yell into therapist: a void me: good advice, thank you 9:55 AM · 2020-07-10 · Twitter Web App 897 Retweets 6 Quote Tweets 6,739 Likes

4.

Text - Bisserat @Bisserat I don't know who needs to hear this but throw away that box your iPhone came in. You don't need it. You will never need it. 12:24 AM · 2021-01-03 · Twitter for iPhone 19.6K Retweets 9,211 Quote Tweets 242K Likes

5.

Text - Seasonal Affective Chad @Invisichad When life gives you hurdles, trip over those hurdles. Let your legs become tangled in a series of hurdles that you drag behind you. Crawl with your giant collection of hurdles towards more distant hurdles 4:48 PM · 2019-06-06 · Twitter for iPhone 530 Retweets 28 Quote Tweets 1,450 Likes

6.

Text - new year, new lovitz @liljonlovitz totally unfair that dogs and cats are the only ones who get treat puzzle toys. i could absolutely be occupied by a puzzle that gives me a treat and i bet you could toO 1:35 AM · 2020-12-29 · TweetDeck 36 Retweets 2 Quote Tweets 216 Likes

7.

Text - soul nate @MNateShyamalan have a terrible brain disease where i say "this is just like space jam!" any time i see anybody playing the sport of basketball. 12:32 AM · 2021-01-03 · Twitter for iPhone 120 Retweets 5 Quote Tweets 1,750 Likes

8.

Goggles - rachelle mandik @rachelle_mandik being outdoors is perverse, you and the trees just breathing on each other 4:21 PM · 2017-04-19 · TweetDeck 1,061 Retweets 51 Quote Tweets 4,264 Likes

9.

Text - Archie Henderson @archiehench [inside washing machine] duvet cover: climb in my brothers every single piece of clothing: we shall build a new life in the big sock 8:06 AM · 2020-07-06 · Twitter Web App 20.5K Retweets 470 Quote Tweets 128K Likes

10.

Text - anthony @butterwolf [i go to put out my electronic cigarette on a framed photo of someone i used to love but it only taps the glass] damn this piss hell future. 3:41 AM · 2015-08-23 · Twitter for iPhone 1,796 Retweets 30 Quote Tweets 5,982 Likes

11.

Text - Brandon Ream WHCT @Reamkore John Mulaney John John Mulaney You're my butterfly Sugar baby 5:18 PM · 2018-07-12 · Twitter for iPhone 7,875 Retweets 249 Quote Tweets 35.1K Likes

12.

Text - az Be WILIN @N Ni WILIN I love how these "vegans" still drink water. that's a fish's house u bitch 1:57 PM · 2021-01-01 · Twitter for iPad 36.1K Retweets 2,690 Quote Tweets 264K Likes

13.

Text - @ceraliza animals be 20 minutes old and already know what to do 11:56 AM · 2021-01-02 · Twitter for iPhone 1,457 Retweets 99 Quote Tweets 8,392 Likes

14.

Text - kylie brakeman @deadeyebrakeman nobody's thinking about that weird thing you said. they're thinking about a different weird thing you said that you didn't even clock 2:11 PM · 2021-01-02 · Twitter for iPhone 3,471 Retweets 353 Quote Tweets 49.7K Likes

15.

Text - helena @freshhel Being 9 is all about drawing outfits on a piece of computer paper because u found out what a fashion designer is kind of 8:36 PM · 2021-01-01 · Twitter for iPhone 19.4K Retweets 1,639 Quote Tweets 294K Likes

16.

Text - batkaren @batkaren "Would you rather eat a pound of bricks or a matter baby?" he asks. "What's a matter baby?" I ask. I'm shown a newborn so dense the fabric of space-time sags in a deep gravity well; objects within the event horizon are drawn inextricably to it. "Uhhhhhh... The bricks, I guess?" 7:09 PM · 2017-11-07 · Twitter Web Client 378 Retweets 16 Quote Tweets 1,375 Likes

17.

Text - róisín @hexlesbian i wanna be sexy and mysterious but also i cannot shut the fuck up 9:35 AM · 2021-01-02 · Twitter for iPhone 81.3K Retweets 5,164 Quote Tweets 368K Likes

18.

Text - philip matarese @philorphilip If I'm telling you a story, feel free to add sound effects 8:16 PM · 2020-12-28 · Twitter for iPhone 38 Retweets 1 Quote Tweet 211 Likes

19.

Text - kalechip :$ @justcaem y'all meet one mean cat and let it ruin all cats for you... like HAVE YOU EVER HAD A CAT PURR ON YOU???? how could u hate cats 12:32 AM · 2020-12-31 · Twitter for iPhone 72.6K Retweets 7,619 Quote Tweets 510K Likes

20.

Text - sydney battle @SydneyBattle when the subtitles are like "speaks foreign language" i'm like..yes, girl.and what they be sayin?? 6:36 PM · 2021-01-02 · Twitter Web App 46.1K Retweets 1,245 Quote Tweets 434K Likes

21.

Text - asher kay, your puppet foe @puppethusbandry i do like how much horror is written about "what if a house just hated you so fucking much. what would you do then" 4:43 PM · 2021-01-01 · Twitter for Android 16.2K Retweets 613 Quote Tweets 175K Likes

22.

Owl - emot ion al shorty @FrickinDelanie he sit criss cross 2:37 PM · 2021-01-02 · Twitter for iPhone 37K Retweets 2,291 Quote Tweets 241K Likes

23.

PIPPI_LONG_STOCKING @SarahSurgey1 My top 3 assumptions when the doorbell rings: 1. Murderer 2. Police telling me everyone is dead 3. The book I ordered about positive thinking 9:14 AM · 2021-01-02 · Twitter for iPhone 1,234 Retweets 56 Quote Tweets 10.9K Likes

24.

Text - Jon @ArfMeasures Genie: you have 17 wishes Me: isn't it normally 3?? Genie: yeah but *vaguely gestures to me* lot of issues here 11:25 AM · 2021-01-03 · Twitter for Android 359 Retweets 4 Quote Tweets 2,503 Likes

25.

Text - slate ... @PleaseBeGneiss gentle reminder that we brush our hair with teeth on a stick and brush our teeth with hair on a stick 12:51 PM · 2021-01-03 · Twitter for iPhone 346 Retweets 16 Quote Tweets 2,382 Likes

26.

Text - kim @KimmyMonte deck my halls into pieces/ this is my last noel 2:09 PM · 2020-12-23 · Twitter for iPhone 2,118 Retweets 31 Quote Tweets 12.1K Likes

27.

Text - slate @PleaseBeGneiss parrots are just word boomerangs 10:54 PM · 2021-01-02 · Twitter for iPhone 73 Retweets 1 Quote Tweet 599 Likes

28.

Text - kelly @BoyYeetsWorld today is the first page of a 365 page book. i cannot read or write 1:48 PM · 2021-01-01 · Twitter for iPhone 1,236 Retweets 7 Quote Tweets 10.1K Likes

29.

Human - thomas @perfectsweeties do u ever have a random cut on ur hand and it's like ok im an adventurer 9:54 PM · 2020-12-31 · Twitter for Android 628 Retweets 20 Quote Tweets 7,904 Likes

30.

Text - Elizabeth Hackett @LizHackett I'm doing laundry and just whispered "It's almost our anniversary" to the pair of yoga pants I've been wearing since March. 4:07 PM · 2021-01-02 · Twitter Web App 50 Retweets 9 Quote Tweets 1,149 Likes

31.

Text - Jarvis @jarvisrOse3 Im an adult, I am not ashamed of responding fast and double texting. I want to talk to you. 2:06 PM · 2021-01-03 · Twitter for iPhone 12.8K Retweets 848 Quote Tweets 51.9K Likes

32.

Text - אברה ריסמאן Abraham Riesman @abrahamjoseph Men will literally live in a moving castle and transform into a giant bird instead of going to therapy 9:51 AM · 2021-01-02 · Twitter for iPhone 31.4K Retweets 1,265 Quote Tweets 18OK Likes

33.

Text - small tony ... @tony_ferraro7 the girls who organized the prom dress facebook groups should be in charge of distributing the vaccine 11:51 AM · 2021-01-03 · Twitter for iPhone 12.6K Retweets 767 Quote Tweets 151K Likes

34.

Text - cboy is short for cowboy @alexqarbuckle Men are attracted to short women because they want a little Yoda riding on their back while they run around. But a lot of guys also want to be the Yoda. That's where tall women come in 3:25 PM · 2021-01-03 · Twitter for iPhone 4,584 Retweets 292 Quote Tweets 49.7K Likes

35.

Text - jon drake @DrakeGatsby ... The early bird may get the worm but i don't want a worm I want mozzarella sticks 10:08 AM · 2021-01-04 · Twitter for iPhone 183 Retweets 8 Quote Tweets 1,317 Likes

36.

Text - celebrated vermin expert ... @urbanfriendden Ah, you're awake! I found you unconscious in the woods and brought you to my hut. Let me make you something to eat. A PASTA 12:09 PM · 2016-04-11 · Twitter Web Client 6,498 Retweets 154 Quote Tweets 12.9K Likes

37.

Text - Ron Iver ... @ronnui_ New rule- we're shifting the centuries. From now on the 19th century is the 1900s and so on. Sorry for the earlier confusion, can't believe we fucked it up that badly. 11:23 AM · 2021-01-03 · Twitter for Android 1,859 Retweets 91 Quote Tweets 34.9K Likes

38.

Text - caleb hearon @calebsaysthings i can't stand law students. telling you they're "2L" at a house party. idk what that means big dog can you get me out of a ticket yet or not. 4:36 PM · 2021-01-02 · Twitter Web App 1,246 Retweets 140 Quote Tweets 25.5K Likes

39.

Text - slick ... @dlicj (getting in bed and there are crumbs in there) damn someone's been eating crumbs in here 2:41 PM · 2020-12-31 · Twitter for iPhone 136 Retweets 2 Quote Tweets 1,885 Likes

40.

Text - glamorous reptile @glamoureptile Tam a woman who wants it all: no life no job • no kids • one of saturn's moons all to myself 3:32 PM · 2019-10-17 · Twitter for iPhone 456 Retweets 12 Quote Tweets 2,054 Likes

41.

Text - @billyjoebaldwin wouldst thou like to live fergaliciously 1:42 PM · 2021-01-03 · Twitter for iPhone 4,286 Retweets 42 Quote Tweets 19.8K Likes

42.

Text - Sneh + @MsApricus Smoking music while listening to marijuana 7:01 AM · 2020-06-23 · Twitter for iPhone 453 Retweets 17 Quote Tweets 1,346 Likes

43.

Screenshot - С.Нeard @seeheard Anybody else notice the "cookie" can in soul? 6:47 PM · 2021-01-02 · Twitter for iPhone 11.6K Retweets 1,701 Quote Tweets 119K Likes

44.

Text - Tyver Foucault @TheDoorTHEDOOR Your pet thunderstorm bobs around excitedly when you lift the lid of the terrarium. You turn on your hair dryer and blow in a tiny warm front. It booms with joy as its little clouds flash and roll 1:50 AM · 2020-01-06 · Twitter for Android 422 Retweets 18 Quote Tweets 1,267 Likes

45.

Food - The Ghost of Dr Swan Corleone @Swan_Corleone2 The floor is baklava 3:22 PM · 2021-01-03 · Twitter for Android 773 Retweets 57 Quote Tweets 6,283 Likes

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