It should be known by now that we enjoy mocking other people's misfortune - and as schadenfreude goes, these amusing tales are pretty lighthearted. When Twitter user @lillyannatrnr shared a facepalm-worthy serving anecdote from her boyfriend's past, we're willing to bet she didn't think she was starting a thread of epic proportions. But his ignorance regarding creme fraiche and the laughs that followed inspired other users to share their own food-service and grocery work blunders. The result? A massive thread of funny fails and punny verbal comedy. We've picked out some of the better gems for you, but you can see more hilarity at the thread itself.
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my bf told me when he was 17 he worked in a posh hotel and at breakfast some bloke asked him “is this crème fraîche?” and he replied “yeah we don’t serve out of date food” and I can’t stop thinking about it
— lilyanna (@lilyannatrnr) September 2, 2020
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When I was about 19 or 20 I went to a posh restaurant with a friend and tried to order the scallops, 'no you can't have that, you're vegetarian' said my friend. 'no it's fried potatoes - my mum makes it all the time' said I.
— Rachel Mann (@RachelMann123) September 3, 2020
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My wife once worked in a bar and was asked for a pint of lager and a bitter lemon. After looking confused and cheking the second part of the order a couple of times she poured the pint of lager and then got a slice 'bit of' lemon and put it in an empty glass next to the lager 🤣
— Peter Willcox (@pierremonfrere) September 3, 2020
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I was a waitress at a ski lodge in NY and a British family had dinner. I overheard the Dad say "you can't have any pudding until you finish your supper" and I said oh sorry, we won't have pudding anyway.
— outofpdx (@outofpdx) September 3, 2020
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When I was small, my mother sent me to the garden with a tray of juice during a party. One guy, joking, declined, on the grounds that he "didn't drink". Later I went round with a tray of biscuits and asked him "Do you eat?"
— DarkStardust (@redgoldrush) September 4, 2020
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When I was 18 a customer asked me for a serviette, I had never heard the word (not exactly a commonly used phrase in the west of Scotland) so just told them we didn’t do them 🤦🏻♀️
— Miss Campbell (@EJCHistory) September 10, 2020
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A girl I worked with, not long turned 18.
— Jen (@jafflecakes) September 4, 2020
A customer asked her for a dry white wine. She looked at them and said we only serve wet wine here. The girl then proceeded to tell us the story as if the customer was the daftie.
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My mate worked in a wine bar for a bit an a customer asked her for “a Chilean red wine” an she went to mix the house red with Tabasco sauce😂😂😂
— skinnylegend m8 wbu? (@granolapooicide) September 3, 2020
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My friend ordered cheese and biscuits at a hotel, they brought her chocolate biscuits and a slice of cheese
— jill (@munro_burton) September 3, 2020
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This reminds me of being 15 and waitressing, and asking a diner if they’d like Parmesan on their calamari as I thought it was a type of pasta
— Katt Wade (@KattW_) September 3, 2020
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I refused to let my mum cook me toad in the hole for years because I thought it was some fancy French food like frogs legs!
— Andy (@Jonesidentity) September 3, 2020
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I order honey mustard dressing - & I was given a packet of honey and a packet of mustard. It was 2 am in a dive cafe in jersey .... but that is a whole different story .....
— Nan Dudley🐝 (@Centerlefts) September 3, 2020
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I used to work in a Cafe and when little old ladies used to ask for a pot of tea and a pot of extra hot water, I’d say “ we use boiling water love. That’s the hottest water you can get “
— Dom 🏆 (@dommer14) September 3, 2020
None of them got it but I love laughing at my own jokes
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A mate I know was taken to the fem fresh once when asking for creme fraiche in a barnsley supermarket.
— Hannah (@HannahcantRead) September 3, 2020
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I once asked for tiramisu in Asda and she took me to the canned foods aisle ... she thought I’d asked for a tin of soup
— Jonathan Roberts (@jontycrob) September 3, 2020
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My brother worked as a server and a customer asked for an Arnold Palmer and he said, “Hold on let me see if he works here.” 😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
— Sandra Bland’s ghost (@LIDiva) September 3, 2020
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In a wetherspoons and a mate was getting a round in. Someone asked for a tequila rose and he came back with a glass of rose with a shot of tequila dropped in it.
— Phil Mark (@philly_no1) September 3, 2020
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Was at a reception in Dubai some years ago. Ordered a beer and white wine. That was what I got - neatly poured into the same glass.
— Tony Coleman (@RuaTrindade) September 3, 2020
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Someone asked for a chamomile tea so I gave them normal tea with a shot of caramel in it🙃
— Ross Godwin (@rossgoodwin145) September 3, 2020
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this reminds me of when I was a waitress at a luxury restaurant on the ocean when I was 18 and a guy asked for a sea breeze and I opened the window.... he gave me a disgusted look then told me it was a drink
— mar (@mariissanicole) September 3, 2020
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When my Russian grandmother moved to the US in the fifties, she asked where the sour cream was at the grocery store. The store clerk replied, very proudly, they they didn't let their cream go sour.
— Cyrus Peterpaul (@CyrusPeterpaul) September 3, 2020
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I worked at Olive Garden and some real winner of a turd wanted to know if “your mussels are wild or farm raised.” He chose to use the pronoun “your” and I distinctly forgot that we had mussels on the menu. So I thought he was asking about my muscles and I said “Wild, I guess.”
— Michael Douglas Hall (@hallmiked) September 3, 2020
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Used to work in fast food and a guy came in and asked my friend for a hamburger, she told him we only sold beef burgers. 😳😳
— shannon (@shf0x) September 4, 2020
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When I worked at a college cafeteria I didn’t know what kosher was. We were serving a Jewish convention and they asked me if the bacon bits were kosher. I thought they were saying “are these for sure?” Like can we eat them? I was like “sure go ahead”
— trash witch 🎃🦇 (@fleursaugefille) September 4, 2020
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