Fifty-Nine Memes To Take You Into The Weekend

Hallelujah! We've finally made it to the highly-anticipated freedom of Friday evening. To celebrate - and to get you into the weekend groove - we put together this extra-large batch of memes and shitposts. They should help you let loose and embrace the relaxation that we all deserve. 

1.

Text - when you accidentally get too high before work and have to greet your first table #THISRESTAURANTSUCKS

2.

Text - Dave Burkey @DaveBeTweeting I just dumped a package of fruit snacks into my mask at work and am just slowly eating them like a horse. I love the pandemic.

3.

Music artist - Kid Rock saw his shadow yesterday, 6 more weeks of fireworks

4.

Text - Troy Johnson @_troyjohnson My favorite thing about humans may just be our ability to drench potatoes in mayonnaise and call it a salad with a straight face.

5.

Text - Matt. @MattTheBrand [every bone in my body cracks as i rise from my chair] yes i would like to party

6.

Text - $. @YSLSLIMER two idiots had sex in the 90's now i gotta feed myself and work everyday...

7.

Text - Karen Vidrine 57m · : I wore a mask at Target today. Three of my lungs collapsed as I got carbon monoxide poisoning from breathing in my own bacteria. A brave patriot wearing an Affliction shirt, a MAGA hat, and sweet wrap around sunglasses saved me by giving me CPR. I thanked him and asked if he was a doctor and he said "who needs doctors when we have our fellow Americans, the ones who are here legally I mean." I hugged him and threw my mask on the ground. The Star Spangled Banner played

8.

Text - r/Showerthoughts u/thanewbie • 8h + Join 1 1 1 1 Dying is when your skeleton finally hatches 37.7k 416 1 Share Award ТОР СОМMENTS Buttered_Turtle a. 5h S 1 Award I think you should take less showers

9.

Vertebrate - me looking at myself in the video chat not hearing a word anyones saying

10.

Arm - Tim, 20 66 kilometers away Active 2 hours ago About Tim Ray Romano will die in 46 days

11.

Text - Sam Toogood @SamToogood_ Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else's phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

12.

Text - Lumberzack @ltsLumb one time at this bar in nashville, the band stopped playing and asked the audience "who here is from plant city, florida" and this girl goes "WO000000!!!!" she thought they were giving her hometown a shout out, but it was because they found her lost i.d. i think about her often

13.

Text - Rawri Sama A @xJayRawri A "period" is not an excuse to have an attitude 8:46 AM · 7/10/20 · Twitter for iPhone @_ihermosa Replying to @xJayRawri I miss the times when men would go to war and die 6:56 AM · 7/14/20 · Twitter for iPhone >

14.

Text - m@thew @TweetPotato314 wife: why ru putting garlic in ur pants me: so dracula won't try to eat my ass wife: why would dracula try to eat ur ass me: he won't. the garlic- ru even listening

15.

Face - 3 kids and no money No kids and З money

16.

Cartoon - Drivethru worker watching me check the bag before I drive off

17.

Text - BDSM but the safe-word is that noise from Down With The Sickness.

18.

Text - Viktor Winetrout @Cpin42 When I peel a banana, I like to pretend it's doing a sexy strip tease. My wife & I are separated 5/19/18, 4:19 AM

19.

Organism - PLANTS OUTSIDE PLANTS AT HOME @planty_hoes "mmm, concrete. cozy" "is this tap water? i'm allergic"

20.

Wildlife - "You should smile more!" Me:

21.

Text - ME WHEN THE WHEN THE me when the Tf is that lol it's me when the When the what when the

22.

Text - Tinker Elle @elle91 [3 AM] Me: Why are any of us here, really? Zoo security guard: I'm asking about you, specifically. 9/28/18, 12:31 PM

23.

Text - When you chilling in the womb and your parents talking about naming you Owen

24.

Cartoon - Y'all remember that time Ms.Frizzle took the kids to get nutted on?

25.

Cuisine - madison is skating @madibska... · 18h day one of my zero waste journey! used my pasta water from breakfast to make my coffee 305 271,485 15.1K 1 Raven Rimmer @RaeTheBird · 13h taylorhanson Is it..good? Creator. Followed by 27 39 233 madison is skating @madibskatin Replying to @RaeTheBird and @teaxtarot no

26.

Facial expression - David Lynch always looks like he knows you from somewhere but can't remember where

27.

Plant - which is a bigger flex? airpods? or rich boy winston on route 104 using a full restore on his level 7 zigzagoon ZIGZAGOONS Lv7 RICH BOY WINSTON used FULL RESTORE!

28.

Text - randy @leakypod greek architect: u know what would make this building fucken slap assistant: architect: assistant: are u gonna say p- architect: [nods] pillars. like, a hundred fucken pillars

29.

Text - H&R BlocK H&R BLOCK @HRBlock You still haven't done your taxes? (No judgment.) You're putting off filing because: Yoshi @ FatYoshi 21h Replying to @HRBlock I'm committing tax fraud ♡13 H&R Block O @HRBlock 8h H&R BLOCK That doesn't seem like a good idea. M 29

30.

People - My Grandfather Ме It ain't. work It ain't on My Grandfather Me but it's on It ain't

31.

Yellow

32.

Text - Classic Dad Moves @classicdad Dads when Phil 3 minutes and Collins - In The 40 seconds later Air Tonight starts

33.

Electronics - "The Switch is Nintendo's first portable console" Me, an intellectual:

34.

Skin - 16 year old girls who think they're witches Your alcoholic uncle FLEETWOOD MAC The airport Chili's House plants Recently divorced ladies named Susan FUNNYSDIE

35.

Text - Steve vs Zombies @stevevsninjas cotton farmer: finally, some rain cotton candy farmer: *running toward his fields* oh shit oh fuck

36.

Text - Students after 3 all-nighters, 23 broken pencils, 8 ramen noodle meals, and 2 mental breakdowns once they finish finals week Almost lost my cool there.

37.

Motorcycling - When you hold down on the A button too soon on Mario Kart URY Gri

38.

Text - @Michael1979 Tech tip for people who aren't as tech-savvy as me: When you press the h button on your keyboard, you get a lower-case h. But what if you want an upper-case h? Easy! Just go to the wikipedia page on horses, copy the upper-case h and paste it into your document. Problem solved ウィ Article Talk 維 Horse WIKIPEDIA The Free Encyclopedia Fi Сopy Ctrl+C

39.

Text - Вoog @BoogTweets You ask me for the time and notice my watch is actually a live shrimp hugging my wrist, he whispers "12:30" but he's guesstimating as shrimps usually do

40.

Cartoon - When I see condensation on a glass window Draw a dick Leave it alone on it

41.

Text - Thread t? Kevin M. Kruse retweeted Charlotte A. Cavatica @cavaticat airline gate attendant: I understand that your little boy is difficult and hard to keep track of, but no, airline policy strictly forbids checking children in the cargo hold. you'll have to- members of the band Kansas: <deep breath> 5:18 PM · 29 Jan 20 · Echofon 4,115 Retweets 20.7K Likes

42.

Text - Got any fun plans for the weekend? Me: 1907021798 6094370277 0539217176 2931767523 8467481846 7669405132 0005681271 4526356082 7785771342 7577896091 7363717872 1468440901 2249534301 4654958537 1050792279 6892589235 4201995611 2129021960 8640344181 5981362977 477130960 5187072113 499wwe37 2978049951 0597317328 1609431859 S024459455 3449082026 4252230825 3344685035 2619311881 7101000313 7838752886 5875332083 8142061717 7669147303 5982534904 2875546873 1159562863 8823537875 9375195778 185778

43.

Head - WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO DO A HANDBRAKE TURN SO YOU LOOK AT YOUR PASSENGER LIKE: You ready to die YINCE DRIVETRIBE

44.

Text - me: are turtles slow because God fears them zookeeper: what me: did he make them slow because he's scared of what they could do zookeeper: no I heard you- me: if turtles were fast could they kill god zookeeper: [putting hand to ear] we've been compromised

45.

Cartoon - *2020 starts* Iran and USA: Australia: Venice: China: made with mematic AM-SICK

46.

Vertebrate - coronavirus my order from wish.com

47.

Text - Caitlin @caithuls RELATIVE: You know about computers, right? ME (has a degree in computer science): No

48.

Nose - Cant speak Cant hear HIISH Cant see Can't control the weather

49.

Food - THIS IS A WHITE THE WORLD'S MOST POPULAR DINNER PARTY WINE OAKY AFTERBIRTH THIS IS A WHITE Pofet for cooking neth your apartment gebh flooded or 5 LITERS SERVE CHILLED LITERS

50.

Furniture - When it turns to night and you're still in the mine I don't need sleep. I need Diamonds

51.

Technology - the past tense of SLEEP is SLOOP efindmeoffline

52.

Cartoon - STUFF BENDERS FROM THEAVATARIINIVERSE COULD DO IF IT WERE RATED earth morta bloodbending impalement exploting ungs with air actudly burning people to death dih) CHanies

53.

Text - WORLD OF ANIMALS ОСEAN ΖΟNES! What is really inside the sea? What is in there? TERROR ZONE Just sharks everywhere Sharks The UPSIDE-DOWN This stupid fish ZONE dolphin Dead mermaids SUSPICIOUSLY DRY ZONE Snake A cactus Ocean camel UNDER CONSTRUCTION ZONE Pardon - our mess! JAMES CAMERON FAN CLUB ZONE Where is everybody? THE BONUS STAGE King Squid: defeat him to aquire magic crown +1000 gold

54.

Photosynthesis Engineering Biology Buisness A-si () Pure Applied Health Computer Science Mathematics Psychology Physics Arts

55.

Text - Planet Deaths Has JavaScript 四 NO NO 120,315,672,896+ YES NO NO NO NO NO NO COINCIDENCEP

56.

Cartoon - iPhones "You guys always act like youre better than me" Global Two cans and astring Samsung Literallyjust screaming at peoplefrom a distance

57.

Yoda - Memes at the beginning Memes at the end of of the decade the decade

58.

Sky - baked multiple times per day Lmao fuckin same 52 50 9000 0000 0000

59.

Text - markydoomdoom @markydoodoo me: if there are any spirits here, pleasant yourself to us ghost: bro did you just say pleasant instead of present? me: oh no 2nd ghost: Imao this idiot said pleasant 3rd ghost: pleasant 4th ghost: pleasant 5th ghost: pleasant 11:12 AM · 10/18/19 · Twitter for iPhone >

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