Dude Slides Into Married Woman's DMs In Cringey Neckbeard Fashion

Tilesh Bo March 03, 2021

It's always wonderful when you find a neckbeard in the wild. It definitely makes you fear for humanity a little bit, but it also serves as an endless source of cringey entertainment. This story is so textbook cringe that you probably won't believe it. Seriously, what is wrong with people?

1.

Text - O 75% l Verizon 11:03 AM *nervously approaches with my hands clasped together, eyes shyly cast downward* H-hello, my beautiful Queen *timidly raises my gaze to you, a soft smile playing across my lips* M- may I kindly a-ask how you are on this day? takes in a soft gasp of air as I drink in your glowing beauty, nervously awaiting your reply*

2.

Text - oh hell no NO. look i'm 100 % not here for this f roleplay shit so PLEASE just don't ing weird asterisks ok

3.

Text - *recoils in shock at your rude and hurtful reply, tears welling up in my eyes of blue* H-how can y- you say such things to m-me, when I was merely attempting to compliment y-you? *hangs my head and begins to cry, wondering why I'm such a pathetic failure and why nobody likes me* P-please don't be t-this way, Queen!

4.

Text - jesus christ this can't be f happening ing maybe nobodyf because you slide into random people's dms and pull this creepy in likes you incel fedora sh t

5.

Text - did you ever think of that? also i'm not your f i'm married, and you have absolutely zero chance so just S in queen, TOP

6.

Text - *my face twists up into a mask of frustrated anger as I raise my tear-streaked face to look into your eyes* I-I'm just trying to be nice! I j-just wanted to be your fr-friend, but now it is plain to see that you are just a d- disrespectful c t like all the rest! *a feeling of iron will that only a true man can feel wells up within me and I take a defiant step towards you* You deign to speak in such a way to a man in this fashion? You are a harlot, a wench!

7.

White - holy shit

8.

Text - a dominant smirk unfurls across my lips as I rise to my full height which, I am sure, is taller than a sl t such as yourself* You had the c-chance to begin a fruitful relationship with a true gentleman, but now you have LOST that chance! Begone with you, skank! *proudly turns on my heel and strides away, giving you the middle finger and basking in the glow of my victory*

9.

Text - i'm literally CACKLING oh my god what is wrong with you

10.

Text - *timidly shuffles towards you, head bowed in apologetic shame* My lady, I beg you to forgive me for my behavior earlier. *sniffles sadly, wringing my hands* W-would you find it in your heart to forgive me? *looks up hopefully*

11.

Text - DID YOU SERIOUSLY MAKE ANOTHER ACCOUNT JUST TO MESSAGE ME AGAIN AFTERI BLOCKED YOU what part of i don't want to be ing waifu don't you your f UNDERSTAND

12.

Text - *howls i'm heartbroken agony like a wounded beast, collapsing to my knees* You have a heart of stone! I beseech your forgiveness, and you cannot even grant me that! Why must you have this vendetta against gentlemen? *holds my head in my hands as I weep, crushed that once again, my best wasn't good enough*

13.

Text - i literally do not know how to even respond to you anymore jesus christ

14.

Text - *stammering through my tears* C-can't we j-just be friends? P- please, you're j-just so...b- beautiful..looks up into your face, which is still breathtaking despite its bitter evil*

15.

White - ING YIKES PAL F NEIN NIE LL

16.

Text - THERE, I HAVE TOLD YOU NO IN A VARIETY OF LANGUAGES, PLEASE CHOOSE YOUR FAVE AND GO THEF AWAY i'm gonna block you, AGAIN, and i'm just gonnaf in KEEP BLOCKING YOU for the rest of ETERNITY GOODBYE

17.

Text - *tormented by the feeling of my heart shattered beyond all repair* F-fine. I'll j-just admire you from afar, if t-that's the way you w-want it...*curls up and continues to weep* I'm s-such a f-failure, I'll always b-be alone...

18.

White - BYE Write a message...

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Tagged: cringey , text story , roleplay , text message , cringe , dms , neckbeards , facebook , direct message , fedoras , stereotypes , cringeworthy , married

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